When I was a child, there were many days I worked alongside my Dad. I was an only child so when he needed a helper, it was me. He taught me how to put shingles on a house, change my own oil and how to change a flat tire (that was accompanied by a lesson on not ever depending on anyone to do these things for me). He taught me how to drive a 1946 John Deere H, and how to not get the narrow front wheels down in the furrow. He taught me how to sharpen mower blades, how to replace a universal joint on a ’69 Chevy and how to put on a exhaust myself (that was accompanied by a lesson on ability…I woke to the parts and a note on the table “have the exhaust on the car when I get home”). He taught me how to mix bondo and how to braze. He taught me my hands will always wash off, so don’t be afraid to get them dirty.
During all my days of helping him, there were five little words he would always tell me.
Better than I could do.
Regardless of the job, how I did it, what my performance or attitude was his answer was always the same…that was better than I could do. It was always accompanied by a pat on the back and a huge smile.
And I assure you, there were days my attitude wasn’t the best. Especially the nights I had to hold the treble light at 9 pm and pump the grease gun. Oh, how I wanted to be inside snuggled up with a book. And I always gave that grease gun one extra pump after he said “that’s good”. Thinking back now, I probably needed a switchin’ for having a bad attitude. But I would still hear those same familiar words…that was better than I could do.
There was so much power in those few spoken words.
From those words I’ve always believed I could do anything. I’ve always believed if someone else could do it, I could do it too. I’ve never once doubted my ability to complete any task given me. I’ve never been afraid to jump into a job headfirst, no matter the size. I’ve never been afraid to jump in and help my husband, even if the job meant I would be covered in grease or coal dirt. I’ve never felt there were jobs only the “men” can do. Many hands make little work, so if I can jump in and help I know it will not only go quicker but will make it easier for my husband to have a helper.
Those words helped shape and mold me into the woman I am today.
Oh parents, please don’t be afraid to praise your children. A sweet, gentle and kind spirit from a parent makes such a huge impact in a child’s life. The purpose of encouragement and praise is to increase positive behavior with the child’s knowledge. Everybody responds well to praise, even adults.
As parents, we have the power to use our words to build our children up or tear them down. One of the most powerful parenting tools that we can use is the power of positive affirmation through words. Children are like sponges, soaking in the messages around them, absorbing those messages into the fiber of their lives. All of these messages, whether intentional or unintentional, have the opportunity of leading our children either closer to understanding their God-given value, or farther away. Imagine the power of all the words breathed into them being positive and uplifting!
Words of encouragement are so so important to our children! We see a perfect picture of an encouraging parent in Matthew 3:17, after Jesus is baptized, His Father makes it clear to all of us, just how He feels about His precious son. “And a voice from Heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased.’”
While we need to praise them for doing good things, we also need to speak words of encouragement to them for just being. Remind them that they are always enough in Jesus. That their identity is in Christ alone. That God’s approval is all that matters. Our words should also reflect to our children that they are God’s workmanship, precious and valuable to us apart from their actions, because they are God’s creation, fearfully and wonderfully made. Speak this truth over them and to them on a regular basis.
It’s such a gift to be freed from a value that is based on what we do. That puts the focus on a value that comes entirely because of who we are, precious children of the King. In the same light, our children are valuable because they are our sons and daughters. They reflect our image, and most importantly, they are made in the image of God!
I try to make a point to tell my children how precious they are to me. Even if they make mistakes, I encourage them still. No matter how old my children are, from time to time I will just tell them how proud I am of them, how great of a job they are doing and that I’m so blessed to be their Mama.
Take a moment today and praise your child. If you see an area where they’re struggling, offer them some life-giving praise. Speak those words out loud, speak them when you’re alone or in front of the rest of the family. Make a point to praise them daily and then watch your child grow!
Even five little words can change a child’s life.
