who in the world has a problem praying? certainly not anyone i’ve met…our Pastor doesn’t, my mama never did, no one ever did on the waltons and even my littles don’t…so why did i? a question i’d asked myself a million times inside my head…
when i was little and would pray before a meal, i had a prayer i memorized and just rattled it off…i knew that prayer by heart (and still do)…when i would get on my knees before bed it was kinda the same thing, i had a little checklist in my head that i would mentally go down every night…my prayers, though heartfelt, were never like having a conversation with God…
fast forward to my adult life…
for some reason i felt guilty for asking for things for myself during prayer. i would gladly pray for everyone else but when it came to me, i just couldn’t do it. i guess that probably goes back to my “don’t ask, wait for it to be offered” way of thinking. to this day i will not invite myself to someones house, invite myself along on trips or even ask someone for a drink if i am at their house. if you don’t offer i won’t ask. and that way of thinking just spilled over into my prayer life.
i am also a worrier of ridiculous things, not one of my best qualities…so once i started having these conversations with God during prayer, i wanted to be sure i was listening to God…i would *think* i knew His answer and go that direction…and that is when my stress would take over…what if it isn’t really what God wanted but what i wanted and i’m just using God wanting it as an excuse for me to get what i want (imagine that read really fast without a breath taken)…yep, there is the devil putting that doubt in my head…i’ve had to learn to ask God to reveal His heart and just trust it, trust Him…
i’ve learned a few things. God is ready. accessible. welcoming. understanding. accepting. timeless. spending time with your Father is easy. breathe it in. be still. talk and listen. give Him your burdens. rest in His presence. and embrace your inner prayer warrior.
out for now
~kisses
