Forever Beloved

 

i am a heart on my sleeve kinda gal.

 

i am a cry when i’m sad, cry when i’m happy, cry when i’m angry or cry when i’m overwhelmed being.

 

i cry when someone tells me a touching story about their lives.  i cry when i share a piece of my heart with another person.  it fills me with waves of sympathy, empathy or gratitude and these emotions often manifest in the form of tears for me.

 

 

i’ll cry listening to a song.  sometimes it’s because of the lyrics, sometimes the melody.   sometimes it’s because of a memory the song brings to the surface.  music is so powerful – a song can truly bring you right back there. 

 

i’ll cry as.soon.as. i hear someone else crying.  after the first sniffle or after i see the first tear i am done.  doesn’t matter if i know you, doesn’t matter if i know why you’re crying…i’m just here to silently cry along with you.

i’ve also done my fair share of crying during church.  sometimes a hymn will remind me of a loved one who has passed away, a prayer will strike a cord in my heart of a sermon will resonate with me and the tears will flow. 

and since i’m laying it all on the line…yes, i cried when dumbledore died.  a more accurate statement would be i was a complete sobbing mess at that part in the book.

i’ve always been a crier.  when i was a little girl i cried when i watched winnie the pooh because eeyore was so sad.  his sadness made me sad for him.  and i cried.  i cried watching the muppet movie when miss piggie was mean to kermit.  she hurt his feelings.  his sadness made me sad for him.  and i cried. 

my tears have absolutely no filter.  it doesn’t matter who i’m with, who i’m talking to or what i’m doing.  as soon as i feel that little catch in my throat i know the flood gates are about to open. 

i understand that tears can make other “non-criers” feel uncomfortable.  i live with two non-criers and i’ve heard “mom, turn off the water works please” on more than one occasion.  i’ve been told by friends that i’m too emotional and i need to not take on others pain or sadness.  but, i’m about to be 37 years old…i’m fairly sure at this point in my life i’m not going to change.

i guess i just don’t see the point in swallowing your emotions.  God gave us these emotions and tears for a reason.  He built me this way.  if your emotions, whether it be sadness or joy, are strong enough to bring tears from your eyes then they don’t deserve to be stifled.  i don’t mean you should be a weeping mess all the time.  or that if you don’t cry that there is something wrong with you.  we are all built so differently that one persons reactions should never be compared to another. 

i guess what i’m trying to say is…

hi.  my name is amy.  i’m a crier.  and i’m officially embracing it.

out for now

~kisses