Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

hope for the hopeless marriage

a dear, sweet friend of mine is going through a bit of a rough time right now in her marriage.  we’ve all been there at one time or another, haven’t we?  i wrote the post below a while back and thought maybe she (and others) would benefit from it.  so here’s the repost…

this morning i woke up with a song in my heart and my head. it’s one from my childhood and one that i just super love. i love when God puts a song in my heart before i even wake up. i always pay special attention to those ones. this mornings song was He’s able. i know, it’s a great one, right? as i was doing my morning devotion, i just kept singing and humming this song. as i was really focusing on the words, today’s blog post quickly became apparent.

He’s able, He’s able, I know He’s able;
I know my Lord is able to carry me through.
He healed the broken-hearted
and set the captive free;
He made the lame to walk again
and caused the blind to see.

there was a day not too many years ago when i would have told you my marriage was hopeless. joe had left and we were separated for a few months. suddenly i felt so alone, with two kids to tend to daily, a house to take care of and working full time, i was stressed beyond stressed. some days i felt so low, not even quite sure how i was functioning.

at first, i spent time being angry. and i sure felt justified in that anger. i wanted God to heal my marriage now. i prayed every day, spent time reading my Bible and felt i was entitled to a miracle that didn’t seem to be coming my way. anger, hopelessness and fantasies of divorce consumed my days. i was angry. so angry.

there was one certain night when i was really down, almost at my breaking point. i went up on a hill in the middle of the woods, the sky was covered with stars and i could see for miles around. i popped in a cd of hymns, sang along, cried my eyes out and talked to God for hours on end. when i left the hill that night i had something new, HOPE! hope in the Lord restoring my marriage in HIS time.

hope is so important, and realizing that was a pivotal turning point in my life and essentially my marriage. hope motivates us to make positive choices in life and marriage and to get our relationship with Christ right. the Lord knew i had a few “life lessons” to learn along the way, like patience and perseverance. having hope gave me the desire to search MY heart and have Him reveal the parts of my heart that broke His heart.

He can see into the deepest depths of your heart and He knows exactly what it will take to restore Hope into your heart, into your life and into your marriage. He doesn’t wait for us to “clean up our act”. He meets us where we are and loves us just as we are, sinners. He showers us with his amazing grace. we have a God who knows how we feel, and really cares. He knows our doubts and hopelessness. He can help when we’re willing to bring those things to him. nothing is impossible for God!

your past might have shaped you but it doesn’t have to define you and hold you captive. don’t allow who you were to keep your marriage from being what it is meant to be.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure
Hebrews 6:19

out for now
~kisses

runaway emotions {book review}

Runaway Emotions
Why You Feel the Way You Do and What God Wants You to Do About It
By Jeff Schreve
the description on the back of the book reads:

If we pay attention to the alarms in our lives, they could save us.

Worry. Anger. Loneliness. Negative emotions are uncomfortable by design. Like any good fire alarm, they alert us to a greater danger. But they won’t help us if we try to cover them up, hide them behind excuses, or assume they will always plague us.

The only healthy way to manage negative emotions is to find their source and address the problem that set them off. As pastor Jeff Schreve says, “A specific and compelling message can be found in each of your negative, painful emotions. God Himself is trying to speak to you through those emotions—right now.”

So what is God saying? How can we understand our emotions—even change them? Schreve shows how the truth of the Bible can make sense of our confusion. The power of the Holy Spirit can lead us to freedom, and Jesus Christ can give us true peace in the midst of any crisis.
You don’t have to let your emotions run away with you, your family, or your future.

i am an emotional girl, plain and simple.  and so many times i allow my emotions to run out of control and dictate my actions.  so once i saw the this book, i knew i needed to read it.

this was an amazingly powerful book for me.  i was going through a stressful, worry-filled time.  and to be honest, when i worry it makes me sassy.  the other members of my household are not so much fans of this.  i read the chapter on worry and instantly my heart was calmed.  it made me explore my own out-of-control emotions and what God wants me to do with them.  at the end of the book, i was left with such a greater knowledge of my emotions and how God uses them to speak to us.  

it was written in such a down-to-earth, easy to read format.  it held my attention and at times, i even had a hard time putting it down.  i would definitely recommend this book.   
this book was provided to me free of charge by booksneeze.com in return for my honest review. the opinions i have expressed are my own.

out for now
~kisses

ladylike?

i sat scrolling through my facebook feed, shaking my head in disbelief.  a local photographer did a boudoir/bikini shoot and posted all the images on their facebook page.  and they tagged the women in the pictures.  these women, mostly married, now have all their “business” out there for the world to see.  i couldn’t help but think “wow, we’ve so lost our ladylike”.

first, lets define what ladylike truly means.  it’s described as behaving or dressing in a way considered appropriate for or typical of a well-bred, decorous woman or girl.  the synonyms for ladylike are refined, cultured, sophisticated, elegant, proper, modest, respectable, polite, genteel, courtly, well-bred and decorous.

when i think of the word ladylike, my thoughts instantly go to my grandma strong.  my grandma was by no means a fancy lady, but she was class all the way. she was old school, from the days women were truly classy and ladylike. she wore a dress every day of her life. and even when she did wear pants, she wore them under a dress.  her and i had many discussions about clothing.  i remember one specific conversation, sitting around the table snapping green beans.  looking back now, it was something she truly wanted me to know.  she told me about modesty, hair, makeup and even the color of clothing to wear.  i honestly wish i had appreciated these conversations more.  but i was a teenager and the thought of limiting my clothing choices and excluding certain colors baffled me.

first, let me say i don’t see anything wrong with boudoir photography.  i’ve actually shot a few boudoir sessions myself.  and i’ve done a few boudoir sessions of myself for my husband.  God created men to be visual creatures, period.  so with boudoir you can make sure the visuals coming up in his head are of his beloved.  i think any man would be delighted that his wife would think enough of him to give him a gift that takes a lot of courage and love to do.    covering the body can be much more effective than revealing it.  clothing and poses can be modest, tasteful, elegant, cute and sexy.

these photographs can (and should) be such a sweet, beautiful gift from a wife to her husband, to be shared by only their eyes.  what should they not be?  shared on facebook.  shared with men other than your husband.  and for the love of all, they should not be set as your profile picture or cover photo.

oh sweet ladies, you can have confidence without showing your body to the world.  your body is a precious gift to your husband and to him only.  even if he doesn’t show it, you can be sure it hurts his  heart to know other men are gawking at his gift.  in the long run this will eventually just cause problems in your marriage.  it will spark feelings of jealousy and distrust.

remember, your littles are watching you.  i mean, really watching you.  i saw a quote today that just fits this perfectly!  your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.  do you want your children to see you dressed scantly online?  do you want them to hear other kids talking on the bus about seeing your “business” on facebook.  do you want your daughters to do the same thing?

you are so so precious to God and to your husband.  remember that, respect it and honor it.  how you treat your body, how you show it off, reflects your heart.  make sure your heart is reflecting the right thing.

out for now
~kisses