Forever Beloved - Faith, Love & Truth

February 3, 2019

Happy Birthday Mama

Today marks a very special day in the life of one of my most special, favorite people. Today is my Mama’s birthday. There is something special about the mother-daughter bond. It’s why so many girls would describe their own mother as the best ever. And that is certainly how I feel about my mother, she is truly the best mother.

She lead by example teaching me how very important it is to love Jesus, to be kind, to be thoughtful, to be gracious, to be loving, to be caring, to be selfless, to be thankful, to be honest and to be hard working. She taught me what it means to truly love someone unconditionally.

She taught me how to smile no matter what life throws at you, and know that tomorrow will bring new promises and hope when you feel down. She taught me to value myself, to surround myself with like minded people and to know when it’s time to cut ties when someone isn’t good for you.

She taught me to honor my commitments and to keep my promises. She made me value education, perseverance and personal values. She raised me to be a strong woman.

She taught me when to keep my big mouth shut. She knew this wildly loud, strongly opinionated girl needed to quickly learn that.

If you’re new to my blog, you may not know this about me, about us. This is why I feel our bond is so strong. I was adopted at 5 days old. God basically hand-picked these amazing people to be my parents. And y’all, I won the parent lottery!

She has been my loudest cheerleader and she always believes in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. I know she has many more lessons to teach me as the years continue to roll on, and each day I value our relationship more than the day that has passed.

Then on top of being an amazing mom, she’s the best grandmother ever. She goes by Nanny, and she sure loves these two. These littles of mine have no clue how blessed they are to have a Nanny as wonderful as she is. I’m so glad that our babies have always had her right next door to love and care for them. And teach them and help them. And let’s be completely honest…She spoils them too. Y’all, we have lived out the “it takes a village” mantra.

If it wasn’t for this woman, I would not be who I am today. It is certainly a blessing to be able to say your mother is your best friend. And she is clearly that, my best friend. I live beside her, normally see her every day and talk to her a million times a day. She never once complains of the hundreds of times I call her to ask silly questions like what does bad hamburg smell like, I have a skunk in my chicken coop and need your help, can you come kill this spider or can you look and see if this injury is emergency room worthy? I am truly blessed!

As we look towards the future, I just want you to know Mom, I love you. It feels like such an inadequately simple phrase to express how very much I care for you. My life is blessed because you are in it. Everything I am and will be, I owe to you. You’re the best. I hope the year to come is one of your very best yet!

January 24, 2019

Reconciling Love

{It is with such pleasure that I introduce today’s guest blog writer, Jim. And today we have the pleasure of hearing about marriage from a husbands perspective. He reached out to me recently and was interested in being a guest blogger, I jumped at the opportunity! His heart for Jesus is evident as you read his post. Please give a warm Forever Beloved welcome to Jim! Show him how much you appreciate this post by sharing and commenting!}

So, my first attempt at a blog. Hmm. I volunteered because I have a few things that consume my mind. Things that matter, to me anyway. What I have learned is sometimes through out hurt we become aware and empathetic to others who are suffering in situations similar to what we have been through.

So my first blog is about that. I’ll never forget it. We had gotten to a point where we didn’t communicate. Sitting across the room from one another I got the message “I don’t love you anymore”. Things had escalated. I knew she had a coworker who knew no boundaries and he was pursuing her. Sound familiar? Or close? I did a whole lot of finger pointing, yelling, swearing and acting like a total jerk. By the time reality set in, winning her heart back wasn’t happening.

We spent months in the same house, separated, not speaking unless it was about the boys. Yes boys! Three casualties of our lack of communication and selfishness.

So let me say this. As bad as things were, when separation and looming divorce comes you realize that when the Bible says in marriage two hearts a joined, THEY ARE. Because when the separation comes it starts to tear those joined hearts apart. It wrecked me and it hurt! I had always sworn I wouldn’t divorce.

Now separated, still married but in different homes. We gave up. And started doing things OUR way.

New relationships and partners with kids. Just causing more of a mental mess. Mind you, we were still married but just acting single. I finally gave up on that. I kept talking to God, I was attending a program called Divorce Care, which is amazing I might add!

God kept placing us in situations where we were together for periods of time. But we would return to our separate homes. I felt I knew what He was trying to tell me, but I kept refusing to listen because I was harboring unforgiveness. Even thought I kept praying His will, I was denying to allow it.

I was doing a little better financially and decided to put my race car back together. I was in the car struggling to get a part together when she came to pick the boys up. And she helped me get the part together. I completely believe this was a God moment. It put something in my heart.

I allowed my heart open.

During our middle sons birthday we were still separated. But I asked her to go to dinner with us. It wasn’t long after we were just texting and I just asked “Do you ever think about moving back home?!” and the answer was “Yes”! God was working in both of us. It’s not easy. Really no marriage, how great or bad, is ever easy all the time.

Sometimes the biggest thing that’s in the way of reconciling is ourselves.

Peace and Love! Jim

I’m Jim Bloom, a 45 years old husband to Renae and father three awesome boys…Caleb, Noah and Josh. I’m a self employed Graphic Designer / Signs and Vehicle Graphics.

We love to fish and hang out and torment one another. I play a little bass and rhythm guitar and try to sing now and then at Tri Country Church. My biggest hobby is racing. I drive and work on my own dirt street stock. Friday and Saturday summer nights are usually spent at the track.

January 23, 2019

Relationship Goals

I am one of those Facebook posters that loudly proclaims my love for my husband. Even though it’s possibly obnoxious I just can’t help it, I love that sweet man and I want everyone to know it.

With those posts my husband and I have heard, time and time again, that we are other peoples “relationship goals”. And while flattering, it has sparked many conversations between us on not only why but how we got to where we are…and how we could help others get there as well. It’s not always been easy, I can tell you that for sure. But with Gods grace, and lots of patience on His end with this hard-headed girl, we’ve made it here.

Through those conversations we’ve made a list of things God has taught us throughout the ridiculously blessed, hard years we’ve been married. And y’all are in for a treat today, you get to hear from my boo thang too!

Keep God at the center of your marriage. This is a lesson we learned the hard way. Marriage is difficult. Actually, difficult is an understatement. Let’s be real here, there are going to be days you hope he chokes on his cereal. The hardness of marriage is obvious when you see how many couples end in divorce. It’s two imperfect people living together, failing daily. The only way to make your marriage truly work is to center it on Christ. You have to rely on God for wisdom, power, love and strength for your marriage. And forgiveness, for that one time you hoped he would choke.

Allow him to lead without stepping in the way. This was a hard lesson for this stubborn, independent girl to learn. Um, hello…I took the words honor and obey out of my marriage vows. I know, not my most shining moment. I would tell him I wanted him to lead but then tell him he wasn’t doing it right. Sure as the sun rises and sets, I’d step in and take over. I wish I could say it was easy to stop, but I’m stubborn. And it took lots (read this as an abnormal amount) of life lessons from God and probably the hardest heart work He’s ever done.

Never stop trying to improve your marriage. We’ve been married for 23 gloriously hard years, and we are still looking for ways to improve. Keep reading, keep learning, keep improving and don’t ever get comfortable and let your guard down. If one thing doesn’t work, try something else. The best advice I’ve heard is to run your marriage like a business. Successful businesses are successful because of the amazing foundation they’re built on. I even think business meetings for your marriage are a great idea! I purchased The Marriage Journal written by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff, and I would highly recommend it as a tool for weekly meetings with your spouse! The journal has 6 questions that you will ask each other, and record your answers to, once a week. Each week also includes a devotional to help foster good conversation. There is a week long calendar page for you and your spouse to communicate about events, appointments, social gatherings, and big to-do’s in the upcoming week. You can purchase the journal HERE.

Don’t put your kids first. Hear me out on this one. Don’t allow your mothering to take precedence over your marriage. Is being a Mama important? Well, absolutely! Pour your heart into those littles, but don’t neglect your man. Oh how many marriages I’ve saw fail because the kids were made top priority. The kids grow up, move out of the house and the parents look at each other like strangers. You have to nourish your marriage! As for us, both our kids are adults and will be moving out soon. We’re already planning the things we’ll do together! (you can read a recent post I wrote on this topic HERE)

Let others know he is yours. I don’t mean buy him one of those “I love my wife” shirts and making him wear it every other day. Although once upon a time I may have bought my husband that exact shirt. I mean post on his Facebook once in a while, shout out a Tweet to him, take a snap of the two of you watching a movie and just let it be known, he is yours.

Sex is important. No, it’s not everything…but it’s one notch below. God designed sex and marriage to go hand in hand. God intended sex to create a oneness within our marriage. We don’t want to feel deprived and neither do our spouses. I read a book a few years ago that was a sex game changer and I highly recommend it to all married couples. It was Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Joseph and Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter and Lorraine Pintus. Also, The Passion Principles by Shannon Ethridge. You can also check out my posts from my Ignite Intimacy series here.

Most fights are over stupid things. Honestly, stupid things that don’t really even matter. I once spent an entire day furious at my husband for buying me the wrong value meal from McDonald’s. I mean, after this long he should know what I like…right? I could fill this blog post and four others with the absolutely ridiculous, stupid things I’ve gotten mad over. When I was younger {okay, and even sometimes now} I always wanted to prove my point and have the last word. I’ve learned it’s more important to prove your love than your point. And what’s the best way to do that? Not arguing over dumb things. And eating that burger, even though it has onions on it, and you hate onions, and he should know that.

Never stop pursuing him. Write him love notes and tuck them in his lunchbox. Send him a racy text (I highly suggest knowing the location of his phone before this one). Tell him how much you appreciate him. Buy the stinkin’ lingerie that he likes on you, even if you feel it’s a waste of money. Kiss him and hold his hand, even if you’re in a horribly long checkout line at WalMart. Pursue that mans heart daily.

Don’t be disrespectful. Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. {Ephesians 5:33} I’ve read this verse over and over again trying to find a loophole. There isn’t one. It doesn’t say respect your husband only when you feel he deserves it, it doesn’t say he has to GIVE respect to GET respect and it’s certainly not up to us to deem when he is worthy of it. God was pretty clear with this verse, the wife MUST respect her husband. And for the love of all, do not talk bad about him to others ever! Not even to your Mama. Build that man up. Let him know that he is adequate, enough and that he has your respect. The world will be cruel enough. Make sure he knows he always has a friend in you.

Have fun together! One thing I can say about my husband and I is we know how to have fun, and laugh ridiculous amounts while doing anything! Some of it may be at inappropriate times and places but at least we’re laughing. You need to make sure you have fun together too! Fun is a key ingredient to a successful friendship. No one wants to spend time with a Debbie Downer (or someone that gets super mad over onions on their burger). Laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more.

And now for the special part, my sweet mans first time debuting on my blog!

Always keep God in the center of your world. In other words, in all that you do and how you do it. Placing God in the center of the marriage helps a couple see more than just themselves.

The old saying, a happy wife is a happy life. I always put her needs before mine, no matter what it is. And never stop dating. Even when you have kids.

Children are what we create them to be. So spoil them correctly with love and positive attention not everything that they want or you never had. Teach them the correct way of life, not what the world wants.

Learn to show love and respect. Show it even during the times when you think or feel it’s the hardest. And never give up on your marriage.

Learn to go without to give to those who need. I always try to place everyone’s needs and wants before my own.