Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

Pouring Kindness Into Hearts

Kindness is so very powerful.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.  How would you describe kindness in your own words?  Friendly, generous, warm-hearted, soft-spoken; these are all words I would associate with being kind.

When I think of kindness, my Dad always comes to mind.  I actually would imagine his face might be in the dictionary beside it.  To him, kindness is a way of life.

Throughout my lifetime, my Dads kind gentle spirit has always been shown both inside and outside of our home.  He is one of the only people I know that can find good in any situation and in any person.  If he had heard someone say something unkind to him, his response was always the same.  They didn’t mean it that way.  If he would hear me saying something unkind, he would always remind me that we are Christians, and God doesn’t want us to be unkind.  If someone stole from him, he would brush it off by saying they must need it more than I do.

And today, especially today, as I watch my Facebook feed overflow with strong opinions on the John MacArthur and Beth Moore situation I can’t help but wonder what my Dad would say.

So I called him, explained the situation to him and asked his opinion.

His answer was “it’s never right to publicly humiliate someone who is also a Christ follower” followed quickly by “we should always be kind, we are called to be as Christians“.

And that, my friends, is the bottom line.

Tearing others down, judging harshly, judging their hearts, making rash and unkind judgments is all wrong.

How would Jesus have handled this?  When Jesus encountered people who He felt needed “called out”, first He showed them love.

The first thing He did was love on them.  He didn’t publicly humiliate them.  HE LOVED THEM!  Is it easier to hear criticism from someone if they loved on you first?  If they said it with kindness and you knew their heart was in the right place?  Absolutely!  It’s all about love, kindness and grace.  Gods greatest commandment was love one another (John 13:34).

Ephesians 4:32 says And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.  And be ye KIND one to another.

Kind.  Kind.  Kind.

Galatian 5:22-23 says But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 

Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit y’all.  Like the other fruits of the spirit, it can only be obtained through abiding in Christ.  It is an outgrowth of the genuineness of our faith.  According to the Zondervan NIV Bible Commentary, the Greek word translated kindness here is “the divine kindness out of which God acts toward humankind. It is what the [Old Testament] means when it declares that ‘God is good,’ as it so frequently does. Christians should show kindness by behaving toward others as God has behaved toward them.”

Kindness is humbly giving of ourselves in love and mercy to others who may not be able to give anything back, who sometimes don’t deserve it and who frequently don’t thank us for it.

At times kindness can be associated with weakness.  But let me tell you, it is anything but.  It requires extraordinary strength and courage to show kindness, especially to those who don’t deserve it. And let’s be clear: not a one of us “deserves” it all the time.  There are times when responding with kindness has felt like it almost killed this stubborn, hard-headed girl.  In those moments, I always think back to my Dad and how he would respond.

Kindness is being friendly, considerate, generous, warm-hearted and gentle.  It’s being friendly when the person across from you isn’t, it’s being warm when she’s cold, it’s being soft when the person across from you is hard, it’s giving when she has nothing to give in return, it’s running through the McDonald’s drive-thru to give that homeless person a warm meal and it’s holding your tongue sometimes.

Kindness doesn’t speak of the character of the receiver but it speaks volumes about the giver.

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There have been times when I’ve felt that gentle nudge on my heart to extend kindness to someone.  I’ve heard echos of you’re naive, you’re being taken advantage of and you’re too easy.  My response is always the same.  When I feel called to be kind to someone, how I answer that call matters.

As Christ followers, we are to love as He loved us.  And His love is always, always wrapped up tightly in kindness.  We see time and time again His love offered to undeserving people.  A wife who just disrespected her husband, a child who just sassed their parent, a husband who just laughed at an inappropriate joke…in other words, every single one of us.

Hosea 11:4 says I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love.  To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.

We need to learn to be gentle, sensitive and tenderhearted.  When we start being tenderhearted, it’s easy to be kind.  Having a heart that is easily touched and sensitive doesn’t mean your weak, although that’s what the world would say.  If we are sensitive to those around us, we start seeing their needs instead of our own.  Have a loving, tenderhearted, compassionate attitude and let it shine for everyone to see.

We are called to be kind to others because God is kind to us.  He loves us when we are unlovable, and He does this over and over again.  Kindness is extremely powerful.  You can change lives with your actions.  You can change lives by your words.  You can change lives with your kindness.  You can change lives by allowing Christ’s love to shine through you.  I’ve watched my Father do all of those things.

Don’t ever be afraid to show your kindness.  You might be the one voice in their life at the moment that they need to hear.  Your encouragement might be the one thing that keeps them going.

Maybe you are the one who will help them see Jesus through your kindness.

And remember, your words matter.

 

 

 

Canning Ground Beef

If you are like me, remembering to pull ground beef out of the freezer in the morning to thaw out during the day is a chore.  I guess more so figuring out what I’m cooking for dinner first thing in the morning is the chore.  And while I realize I could just cook it from frozen, the meat on the outside cooks faster than the center as it frying. You end up with some meat over cooked before the rest is ready.

This week our local hometown grocery store had their bi-annual meat sale.  This is my absolute favorite time to stock up!  They had ground beef for $2.28 a pound.  I knew I couldn’t pass up that great price but I also know my freezer is jam-packed and can’t hold another thing.  The only solution was to can it.

Canned ground beef is always ready to use, no waiting for the frozen meat to thaw out!  Just open a jar and your meat is ready to use. It’s already pre-cooked you just need to heat it up.  Another plus is it never gets freezer burned!

There are three different ways to can ground beef, so I would suggest choosing whichever works best for you.  You can raw pack it, dry can it or pack it in water (or broth).  I’ll explain these three methods below.

Raw pack // For this method you pack your jars with uncooked ground beef and can it similarly to how I can raw chicken.  While in the pressure canner, the ground beef will produce it’s own broth in the jar.

Water pack // For this method you cook your ground beef either partially or fully, pack it into jars and cover it with boiling water.

Dry pack // For this method you cook your ground beef either partially or fully, pack it into jars and that’s it.  I do have to note that dry canning ground beef is not recommended by the National Center for Home Food Preservation.  With that being said, it has worked out just fine for me.

To choose which method is best for you, think about what you want to use your ground beef for in the future.  And understand that if you pack it in water, no amount of frying is ever going to get your ground beef browned or crispy.

I decided dry pack was the best method for us to use.  And with a big canning day ahead, I knew I had to bring y’all along!

(NOTE: Be sure to read your Instruction Manual before operating your Pressure Canner.  I’m Not responsible for death… only for delicious food)

First, let’s go over what pressure canner I use.  I have a Presto 23-Quart Pressure Canner and Cooker.  I love it, it’s easy to use and I’ve never had a single issue with it.  It comes with an in-depth instruction booklet full of recipes.  I also purchased an extra rack to use in it.  I purchased this Presto rack from Amazon. By having two racks, when I can with pints I can double stack them.  That saves me so much time y’all!  I cannot speak on whether you can double stack without the rack, as I never tried it.

You want to start with clean, sterilized jars. Also inspect your jars for chips in the rim and hairline cracks and discard damaged ones.  Inspect the metal rings and discard any with dents or rust.  I run my jars through a cycle in the dishwasher to sterilize them.  I let them in my dishwasher while I prepared my ground beef to keep the jars hot.

As for judging how many jars you’ll need, a good rule of thumb is you can fit 1 pound of meat in one pint.  My canner holds 16 pints double stacked, so I knew I needed 16 pounds of meat and 16 pint jars.

While my jars are staying hot in the dishwasher it was time to start cooking my meat.  I wasn’t really interested in cooking it in small batches, I wanted to get it all cooked at once.  So I pulled out my big kettle.  I dumped all 16 pounds in at once and began cooking it.  I cooked it on a lower setting to prevent it from sticking.  It took around 2 hours to have it cooked to the point where I wanted it.  You do not have to fully cook it, as the meat will finish cooking in the jars in the canner.

Once the meat was cooked I pulled my jars out and set them on my counter beside my stove.  You can add your spices at this point, putting them in the bottom of each jar.  I took some time to think over how I wanted to flavor this meat.  I didn’t want anything too pronounced as it will be used for everything from tacos to spaghetti sauce.  I settled on a 1/2 tsp of Beef Broth Base from Orrington Farms in each jar.  Regardless of what recipe I use it in, extra beef flavor is a good thing!

I then began straining my meat and packing it into the jars.  I filled the jar halfway, packed the meat down and then finished filling them.  Make sure you leave 3/4″ to 1″ headspace between the meat and the top of the jar.

In canning, headspace is the amount of space you leave between the top of the jar and whatever you’re filling it with.  Each thing you can requires a different headspace.  I have a funnel that also has markings on the side to measure headspace.  Here is a little headspace chart to follow:

  • Leave 1-inch headspace for low-acid foods, vegetables and meats.
  • Leave 1/2-inch headspace for high-acid foods, fruits and tomatoes.
  • Leave 1/4-inch headspace for juicers, jams, jellies, pickles, and relishes.

I did not add any liquid to my jars.  I knew when the meat continued cooking in the pressure canner it would create it’s own liquid.

Wipe the rim of the jar off.  Never forget this step!  Even when you’re using a funnel, you are bound to get something on the rim.  And if the rim isn’t clean, it won’t seal properly. You don’t want to do all this hard work just to have your jars not seal.  Wetting a paper towel with vinegar and using that to wipe off the jar will also ensure all the grease from the meat is off the rim.

Put your lids and rings on the jars.  To make certain I get a good seal, I heat my lids up on the stove in a pot of hot water.  I use a magnetic lid lifter to remove them from the hot water.

I had my Presto canner on the stove with the recommended 3 quarts of water in it.  My jars were hot, my meat was hot so I went ahead and turned my burner on to heat up the canner and water within it.  Make sure to read your directions for your specific canner to see how much water they advise.

TIP: to keep your jars from being “spotty” you’ll want to add 2 tablespoons of white vinegar to the water.  I also add white vinegar to the pot of water my lids are in to keep them from being spotty.

The following instructions are for a dial gauge canner, which is what I have.  If you have a weighted-gauge or dual gauge canner, please follow your instruction manual!   

The first thing you need to do is vent your canner.  Venting means getting rid of the steam inside the canner so you can build up pressure.  To vent, you put your lid on and make sure it’s sealed  (follow the manufacturers instructions for this as well) and turn the heat up to medium or medium/high.  You DO NOT want your weight on yet.  When steam is steadily coming out of the vent, set your timer for 10 minutes.  Once the timer goes off, you’re ready for the next step.

Put your weight on the canner, being careful of the steam that’s coming out, and wait for it to come to pressure.  Once it’s up to pressure, set your timer for the appropriate time below.  Remember to only start the timer once your canner is up to pressure.  Waiting for the canner to get up to pressure sometimes takes several minutes, and it will feel like time stands still.  Just be patient, it will get there.

  • 75 minutes at 11 lbs for pint jars (this could change depending on your altitude)
  • 90 minutes at 11 lbs for quart jars (this could change depending on your altitude)

You may need to adjust the heat up or down during this time.  If you see your pressure rising above what it should be, reduce the heat.  If you see it falling below what it should be, raise your heat.  I normally don’t leave my kitchen while I’m pressure canning, just so I can keep a close watchful eye on the pressure.

When your timer goes off, turn the stove off.  Actually, turn the stove off and walk away.  Go take a much deserved seat for a while.  You HAVE to leave the weight and lid on and allow the pressure canner to return to normal pressure.  I just let mine sit for quite a while.

When you remove your canner lid raise the farthest edge first to protect your face and arms from steam.

Yay y’all, you now have canned ground beef!  Time to take your jars out of the canner.  Grab each jar with a jar lifter, if there is water on the top of the jar tip it to the side and pour the water off.  I always transfer mine to the kitchen table.  I set them on a kitchen towel then cover them with another towel.  I don’t want them to cool down too quickly.

Do not disturb the jars as they cool.  After the recommended 12 hours, you may wipe the jars off, test the seals, remove bands and date the lids with a permanent marker.  I highly recommend dating the jars.  I also write on them what is inside.  You think you’ll remember and for sure know what is inside but when you get as many jars of different items in your pantry as I do, it can easily get confusing.  If any of the lids have not sealed, you will want to place the jar in the fridge for immediate use.  To know if it is not sealed before the 12 hour mark, look at the lid closely to see if it has flattened or turned concave on the top.  If it has, it is sealed.  If it is convex, it may not have sealed and I would store it in the fridge until you can manually test it by pressing the center of the lid and seeing if it flexes up and down when pressed.

Nothing is quite as satisfying after a long, exhausting day of canning than seeing all those jars full of food you prepared with love for your family.  Give yourself a high-five!  And sit back, take a rest and listen for that familiar ping coming from the kitchen!

If you are new to pressure canning, I highly suggest purchasing a book on it.  There are some variables to consider, like altitude, and a book would be a great resource to get you familiar with pressure canning.

For best eating quality and nutritive value, use ground beef within 3 years.  It’s still good for much longer, some have eaten their beef at 10+ years, but optimal nutrition value is within 3 years.

 

 

 

Protecting Your Marriage

For years, I’ve felt God calling me to help restore marriages.  I remember telling my husband how I really felt God was giving me a heart for marriage, especially ones in crisis.

We live in very much a Pinterest and social media age.  Our private lives are more public than they’ve ever been.  And because of that many couples focus more on preparing a picture-perfect wedding day than they do their future marriage.

But cultivating a good marriage requires work and intention. 

We are no strangers to storybook romance.  Marrying at 20 and 22, we are blessed to be familiar with this form of love – love as a falling and a pursuit and a passion.  We were introduced for the first time on a cold February evening, bundled up as we stood outside while snow gently fell around us.  We stood there with our cherry-red noses, enamored with each other.

One month later we were engaged.

We were married three months after that, with vows breathed in the little country church I was born into.

We haven’t been together over half of our lives by chance.  Recently, we’ve examined our nearly 24 years of marriage and discussed not only why but how we got to where we are.  And how we could help others get there as well.

Through those conversations we’ve made a list of things God has taught us throughout the ridiculously blessed, hard years we’ve been married.  I pray they help you protect your marriage not only in the good seasons, but also when things feel out of control.

  • Keep God at the center of your marriage.  This is a lesson we learned the hard way. Marriage is difficult. Actually, difficult is an understatement.  Let’s be real here, there are going to be days you hope he chokes on his cereal.  The hardness of marriage is obvious when you see how many couples end in divorce. It’s two imperfect people living together, failing daily. The only way to make your marriage truly work is to center it on Christ. You have to rely on God for wisdom, power, love and strength for your marriage.  And forgiveness, for that one time you hoped he would choke.
  • Allow him to lead without stepping in the way.  This was a hard lesson for this stubborn, independent girl to learn.  Um, hello…I took the words honor and obey out of my marriage vows. I know, not my most shining moment.  I would tell him I wanted him to lead but then tell him he wasn’t doing it right.  Sure as the sun rises and sets, I’d step in and take over.  I wish I could say it was easy to stop, but I’m stubborn.  And it took lots (read this as an abnormal amount) of life lessons from God and probably the hardest heart work He’s ever done.
  • Don’t bad mouth your husband in front of your children or anyone else.  So help me, do not talk bad about him to others ever!  Build that man up.  Let him know that he is adequate, enough and that he has your respect.  The world will be cruel enough. Make sure he knows he always has a friend in you.  Not long ago my husband came home and simply said “thank you”.  He had spent time listening to others complain about their spouse, and he was grateful that he is able to trust I wouldn’t do that.
  • Don’t put your kids first.  Hear me out on this one. Don’t allow your mothering to take precedence over your marriage. Is being a Mama important? Well, absolutely! Pour your heart into those littles, but don’t neglect your man. I’ve watched marriages suffer because the kids were made top priority. The kids grow up, move out of the house and the parents look at each other like strangers. You have to nourish your marriage!
  • Never stop trying to improve your marriage.  We’ve been married for 23 gloriously hard years, and we are still looking for ways to improve.  Keep reading, keep learning, keep improving and don’t ever get comfortable and let your guard down.  If one thing doesn’t work, try something else.  The best advice I’ve heard is to run your marriage like a business.  Successful businesses are successful because of the amazing foundation they’re built on. I even think business meetings for your marriage are a great idea! I purchased The Marriage Journal written by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff, and I would highly recommend it as a tool for weekly meetings with your spouse! The journal has 6 questions that you will ask each other, and record your answers to, once a week. Each week also includes a devotional to help foster good conversation. There is a week long calendar page for you and your spouse to communicate about events, appointments, social gatherings, and big to-do’s in the upcoming week. You can purchase the journal HERE.
  • Let others know he is yours.  I don’t mean buy him one of those “I love my wife” shirts and making him wear it every other day.  Although once upon a time I may have bought my husband that exact shirt. I am one of those Facebook posters that loudly proclaims my love for my husband. Even though it’s possibly obnoxious I just can’t help it, I love that sweet man and I want everyone to know it.
  • Sex is important. No, it’s not everything…but it’s one notch below.  God designed sex and marriage to go hand in hand. God intended sex to create a oneness within our marriage. We don’t want to feel deprived and neither do our spouses.  I read a book a few years ago that was a sex game changer and I highly recommend it to all married couples.  It was Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Joseph and Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter and Lorraine Pintus.  Also, The Passion Principles by Shannon Ethridge.  You can also check out my posts from my Ignite Intimacy series here.
  • Never stop dating. We take every opportunity we can to sneak a date in.  Sometimes it’s just to get groceries and sometimes it’s a weekend away.  Date nights can keep you connected as a couple, which is especially good if you have kids.
  • Most fights are over stupid things. Honestly, stupid things that don’t really even matter.  I once spent an entire day furious at my husband for buying me the wrong value meal from McDonald’s.  I mean, after this long he should know what I like…right?  I could fill this blog post and four others with the absolutely ridiculous, stupid things I’ve gotten mad over.  When I was younger {okay, and even sometimes now} I always wanted to prove my point and have the last word.  I’ve learned it’s more important to prove your love than your point. And what’s the best way to do that?  Not arguing over dumb things.  And eating that burger, even though it has onions on it, and you hate onions, and he should know that.
  • Thank him.  We all like to be appreciated and know that what we do doesn’t go unnoticed. An attitude of gratitude creates a positive environment.  Some nights before we go to sleep, I simply thank him for loving me.
  • Never stop pursuing him. Write him love notes and tuck them in his lunchbox. Send him a racy text (I highly suggest knowing the location of his phone before this one). Tell him how much you appreciate him. Buy the stinkin’ lingerie that he likes on you, even if you feel it’s a waste of money. Kiss him and hold his hand, even if you’re in a horribly long checkout line at WalMart.  Pursue that mans heart daily.
  • Don’t be disrespectful.  Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. {Ephesians 5:33} I’ve read this verse over and over again trying to find a loophole.  There isn’t one.  It doesn’t say respect your husband only when you feel he deserves it, it doesn’t say he has to GIVE respect to GET respect and it’s certainly not up to us to deem when he is worthy of it. God was pretty clear with this verse, the wife MUST respect her husband. And for the love of all, do not talk bad about him to others ever!  I know I already said this above but y’all, it’s important!  Not even to your Mama.
  • Have fun together! One thing I can say about my husband and I is we know how to have fun, and laugh while doing anything!  Some of it may be at inappropriate times and places but at least we’re laughing.  You need to make sure you have fun together too! Fun is a key ingredient to a successful friendship. No one wants to spend time with a Debbie Downer (or someone that gets super mad over onions on their burger).  Laugh.  And laugh.  And laugh some more.