Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

When You’re Only Left With Sadness

Not long ago, I wrote this post about a super ouchie, hurtful situation we had endured as a family.  That was nearly five months ago.  In that time the dust has settled, the anger has retreated and what I’m left with is hurt.  Hurt and sadness.

My mind has been spinning lately with where to go next.  What do you do with the hurt?  How do you cope with the sadness?

My first thought it to just put it in a little, pretty jar and place it on a shelf.  File it away and just forget about it.  Honestly, that’s what I’ve tried to do thus far and it just hasn’t worked.

Every circumstance God allows in our lives gives us the opportunity to make a choice…will we allow it to grow us and become better, or will we allow it to make us bitter?

Even though I’m hurt, and some days sad, I don’t want to allow that to take root in my heart.  Not long ago I walked through a hard valley in life where nearly every drop of joy drained from me. Those days were hard and long. Days when tears flowed easily and I’ve felt like throwing my hands in the air and just being done. Days where I was withdrawn, building walls around myself and just wanting to stay inside my safe little home.

I can’t return there. And with that, I’m on the road to healing my heart.

Forgiveness

I’m going to be honest, I’m not a good forgiver.  If there is one thing I’m good at, it’s holding a grudge. Actually, I might even be considered a professional grudge holder. Forgiveness, no matter who it is directed to, is something that just doesn’t come easily to me.  Add in someone hurting my children as well and it’s doubly as hard.

How do you forgive the one who caused such pain. And created those hurt, deep, searing wounds.

What does Jesus say about holding a grudge? He commands us to overlook sins and forgive those who hurt us. He doesn’t ask us to do that, the Lord commands us to do that.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32
 

But somewhere buried in our subconscious, we think the rules don’t apply to us. The pain we know doesn’t fit the requirements of forgiveness.

And then we become resentful, angry, unforgiving and cold.

I am beginning with one simple statement…this is my opportunity to show them Jesus through me.  To be kind and tenderhearted, expecting nothing in return.

Reaching out

This one is hard for me. Whether I want to admit it or not, this girl can be so proud! That certainly isn’t an endearing quality. God’s Word has much to say about pride.

When we love our relationships, we should have no room for pride and arrogance to creep in. Regardless of who is to blame, when we are really serious about reconciling a relationship, we put aside our pride and sometimes that means being the first one to take the step towards restoration.

Forgiveness doesn’t always equal relationship

Sometimes relationships flat-line and some are just toxic. I honestly just don’t know how to take a single step forward in a relationship that has dead-ended.  Ones where there is no earthly way of moving forward. Where I just don’t know which way to go.

All I do know is this, we are to love one another.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 13:34
 

I have to believe that forgiveness and love doesn’t mean we’re required to have a relationship.

Love doesn’t mean we walk back in. It doesn’t mean we forget. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and we aren’t thankful that the journey brought us out.

It means we continue to love, even from a distance. We choose the best for them, for us, for this time. We refuse bitterness.  We refuse anger.  We refuse to keep allowing our heart to stir. We become aware of our pain and we seek and find healing.

When you don’t know how to move forward, choose love. When there seems to be no earthly way of moving on, choose love.

Meal Planning Monday

Monday – Breakfast for dinner {sausage and hash brown balls, eggs and homemade bread for toast}

Tuesday – Ham and bean soup with homemade bread

Wednesday – Sloppy Joe Bubble Up

Thursday – French Dip Beef Sammy, homemade rolls, corn and onion rings at the request of my youngest little. This is her absolute fav meal.

Friday – Hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill and macaroni salad

Saturday – Out to dinner

Sunday – Easter dinner at my Mama’s house…ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and cole slaw

What is Homesteading?

I’ve often wondered what we’d be considered…a farm, a homestead or neither?  I dove in to some research to get my answer.

What is Homesteading?

Wikipedia defines homesteading as:

a lifestyle of simple, agrarian self-sufficiency. It is characterized by subsistence agriculture, home preservation of foodstuffs, and it may or may not also involve the small scale production of textiles, clothing, and craftwork for household use or sale.”

But what REALLY is homesteading? What does it look like?


Again, the answer really depends on who you ask. To me, homesteading is becoming self-sufficient and it can be done wherever you live.  And you don’t have to have acres on acres of land to do it.
Why and How Did We Begin Homesteading?
I grew up in a little country town with parents who were either raised on or around farms.  All my life, I’ve heard stories of farming and living off the land.  Even though they were explained further as hard work, the stories always made my mind drift away.  Throughout that, and honestly feeling it was just born into me, I’ve always had a strong desire in my heart to live off the land.  
In the Spring, you could always hear the familiar puttputt of our 1939 John Deere H making it way out of the garage.  Y’all have no idea how many hours I spent standing on that plow.  We would plow, mark, plant, water and weed our garden all summer.  And in the fall, my Mom would spend hours in the kitchen canning.  That was just our normal.  Once I got married and moved into my own house {right next door}, it was only natural to do the same.  
A few years ago, after a medical issue, I was able to fully retire and become what I’ve always dreamed of…a stay-at-home Mama. 

And so we began our homesteading lives.
One of the first thing we did was buy chickens. They say chickens are “the gateway” livestock. Well, that statement is the absolute TRUTH. Chickens turned into more chickens this year. With a new, bigger coop on the way. And now serious talks about goats and perhaps pigs {sorry Mom}.

I make 99% of our food from scratch. I can, freeze, dehydrate and preserve. The beginning years of just spaghetti sauce have now turned into canning everything I can get my hands on!  Including being obsessed with making my own stocks {chicken, beef and ham}.  This year I’m going to give making my own “cream soups” a whirl.

It’s a homesteading life. And one I sure do love.

What else is Homesteading?

The beauty of homesteading is it can be whatever you want it to be.  It can be on as much or as little land as you have.  It can be canning the vegetables that you buy at the farmers market or preserving the peaches you buy from the Amish man down the road.  It can be having chickens in your tiny backyard in the middle of the city.  
It’s simple living that is hard work.  It takes time and energy to homestead, however, it’s about consuming less and producing more. It’s about cherishing real things such as animals, fresh eggs, fresh milk, vegetables growing on a plant and through it all seeing His mighty creation and knowing that He’s real.