Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

That Lonely Feeling

I’ve always had this vision, this big dream, of how the holidays would be when I was grown.

Me cooking a big meal.
A table beautifully sat.
Lots of family.
Friends sprinkled in.
A gaggle of cousins.
A house full of laughter.
An entire evening of fellowship and love.

Life doesn’t always go the way we dreamed of as a child, does it? I have a confession: sometimes I feel lonely during the holidays. It’s something I don’t often talk about at all because it makes me feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? Because I have a husband and two kids to spend the holidays with, not to mention two amazing parents. Still, the loneliness is there.

When I was a child, holidays were spent with family. Thanksgiving at my Grandparents, Christmas Eve at my Aunt and Uncles and Christmas Day at my Grandparents. I loved it, I soaked in every single moment of being surrounded by laughter, love and the feeling of belonging. Do you remember the days when after the holidays you would go to your families house and they would show you what they got for Christmas? I know, I loved that!

Once I got married, the family we spent the holidays with doubled. Sometimes holidays even meant visiting two or three different houses in one day. I have to admit, I loved it.

Maybe more than loneliness, its’ a heart craving. A craving and desire to have things the way they used to be. I have this desire to hostess, to show hospitality by making my house warm and welcome and to show my love and thankfulness through the food I cook.


Throughout the years, the seasons of life have changed. Between people passing away, children growing up and moving out and just life changing we’ve been left spending holidays among our little family. Thanksgiving at my parents, Christmas Eve at home, Christmas Day at my parents and New Years Eve at home.

It’s certainly not how I envisioned my life.

But, what I’ve realized throughout this, the holidays are not about me and my feelings. The season is about Him. Thinking of Jesus’ humble, magnificent, unimaginably difficult, astonishing birth stills my heart during the Christmas Season. It helps me to align my heart with joy.

This holiday season when I feel the familiar pangs of sadness and loneliness creep over me, I will look up and focus my eyes on Him. I will be reminded that what I have is enough. I will remember that He IS the most important element in my life. He brings TRUE peace, joy, and celebration in the midst of this season. He is the TRUE reason for the season.

[jetpack-related-posts]

Silent Cry {Book Review}

Silent Cry
The True Story of Abuse and Betrayal of an NFL Wife
By Dorothy J. Newton 

About the book:

Dallas Cowboys and NFL fans will want to know the inside, true story of superstar football player, Nate Newton and his wife. Nate was a three time Super Bowl Champion and six time Pro-Bowler for the Dallas Cowboys 

Raised near New Orleans as one of six children, Dorothy Newton was surrounded by abuse and poverty as she grew up. But she became the first in her family to graduate from college and moved out of poverty. When she married three time Super Bowl Champion and six time Pro-Bowler Nate Newton, she went from poverty to the pinnacle of success. 

But all that glittered was not gold. Before long the relationship turned abusive. She found herself living in the world she thought she had escaped in her years growing up. 

This book is not only Dorothy’s experiences of pain, loss, survival, hope, recovery, and victory. It will help readers recognize the signs of abuse in their own relationships while encouraging them that the physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds from living with abuse can be overcome. 

A gripping story throughout, Silent Cry is a testament to Dorothy’s will to live and, through her courage and honesty, will help bring hope, healing, and wholeness to those suffering in silence.

This book held onto me from the very beginning and wouldn’t let me go.  Being in an abusive dating relationship myself in the past, there were so many aspects I could relate to.

Dorothy grew up in an abusive home in the backwoods of Louisiana. She struggled to break out of the cycle of poverty and abuse, only to find herself out of the cycle of poverty, but stuck in a relationship that eerily mimics her mother’s relationship with her abusive step-father.
The abuse she suffered at the hand of her husband was severe and extreme.  She wanted to leave so many times, but was financially dependent on him.  She also was afraid of what others would think.  Her husband is famous and quite a charmer, she’s sure the world would side with him.  
Dorothy shares her experiences of pain, loss, survival, hope, recovery, and victory. A gripping story throughout, A Silent Cry is a testament to Dorothy’s will to live and the peace that comes with hope in the God who sees and hears your tears even when no one else does

This book was provided to me free of charge by Book Look in return for my honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Before her affluent life as an NFL wife, Dorothy Newton was raised in poverty by her mother and stepfather near New Orleans, Louisiana. The oldest of six children, she put herself through college on an athletic scholarship for volleyball. Shortly after college, Dorothy married Nathaniel (Nate) Newton, now a retired Dallas Cowboy. Today, Dorothy has an MBA and is a Practice Administrator for a health care organization. She has appeared on numerous television and radio programs, speaking on the topic of abuse and she continues to accept any invitation she receives to encourage others.
[jetpack-related-posts]