Faith, Love & Truth
monday – hotpockets for the littles, fish and a baked potato for me…
tuesday – spaghetti with meat sauce (whole wheat pasta, my own canned spaghetti sauce and 96% fat free ground beef)
wednesday – leftovers, hopefully…
thursday – chicken and dumplings
friday – subway with the littles =)
saturday – steaks on the grill, twice baked potatoes and garlic crescent rolls…screams COMFORT food!
sunday – out to dinner with the fam
out for now
~kisses
why i love my kids…
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me: hey guys, guess what we are going to be taking care of for someone?
jade: how big is it?
me: not real super big
jade: would it fit in our bathtub?
me: um…yeah, it probably would
jade: is it a whale?
me: (looking at her to see if she was serious…and yep, she was)
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joey: looking at this picture of me when i was little
jade: you were stronting it for the girls
me: do you mean strutting?
jade: oh yeah, isn’t that what i said?
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family: (chattering about what we are going to have for dinner)
jade: what would you do if i turned into a tucan and flew away
family: (silence)
jade: so seriously, what would you do
me: ummm, not sure jade
jade: would you turn my room into a rainforest?
me: sure
jade: what if i turned into a racoon
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**this is not meant to be offensive, just seriously funny**
(while we were sitting in the middle of a crowded restaurant)
jade: so sometimes in school the kids put their arms up like this and say white power
me: OH MY GOODNESS jade, ssshhhhhh, don’t ever ever ever do and say that…don’t you know what that is about?
jade: yes, it’s about hitler…
me: do you know who he is jade?
jade: yes, he was a famous french painter
me: (staring at her with my mouth hanging open…speechless)
joey: wow jade, wow
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out for now
~kisses
my heart is broken…
i’m sitting here typing this at 4 am on a weekend…after a restless night of basically not sleeping…bawling my eyes out while i type…i feel so consumed by saddness, fear and anxiety which in turn makes me feel weak, like a big baby and makes me mad…i am NOT a fan of feeling like this and i’m not use to it…i am trying so hard to find that place in my heart that makes change seem good, that reassures me it will all be okay and that helps me move on…i just can’t seem to find it…
i imagine as the days go by the shock will wear off and it will get easier…i’m not sure i’ll LIKE it, but it will get easier…i will learn the new job (i don’t really have a choice), i will get to know the new people and i will settle into the new office…
and to tell me to “take it as a compliment”…how in the world do i take something as a compliment that feels like such a punishment? i feel like i am being punished for being good at what i do…i think my heart is just too broken right now to see the compliment in it…maybe i will eventually…
so my goal for today is to not bawl like a freak until my face is the size of texas…if ya’all could please keep me in your prayers i would REALLY appreciate it…change is SO HARD for me
out for now
~kisses