Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

embarrass your kids.

kids love seeing their parents get affectionate, whether they admit it or not. sure, you might hear shouts of “gross”, “ewwwwww” or “get a room”…but deep down they don’t hate it nearly as much as they let on. normally, the shouts are said with a smile on their face.

i think it’s great for kids to see Mom and Dad putting their relationship first. most of the time, especially in todays society, the opposite happens. parents are making their kids a priority and at the end of the day, they just don’t have any time left for each other.

it’s really important that our kids can watch us giving our spouse love and respect. that they can see we are still pursuing our spouses heart. the byproduct is that my kids see their parents dating. when children see their parents giving each other time, affection, and respect it is a reassurance of our love and makes them feel secure.

our kids are watching us. they are learning to be comfortable with affection and to be affectionate with their own partner in the long run. kiss your husband, dance with him and hold his hand. pursue his heart. show them your romance. what an absolutely perfect place for them to learn about love!

here is one of my fav stories…
a few years ago the kids and i went to visit my grandma in the nursing home. we were there during lunch and sat in the dining room with her. there were many tables in the room with people scattered around them. one table in particular caught my attention. the entire table was empty except for an elderly man and woman, sitting right beside each other on one side. i thought it was totally cute and figured they were married. grandma told me they weren’t married, they were just “dating”. which made it even cuter.

on the drive home, the kids and i were talking about that couple and how cute it is that they are “dating” when they are probably in their 80’s or older. and jade made a statement that not only made me laugh but also made me stop and think that maybe, just maybe, her dad and i ARE showing them what marriage should look like.

jade said…”when i’m old, i hope my husband still slaps my butt when i walk past him”

now i’m not saying by any means that joe and i are inappropriate BUT we are a very affectionate family. “i love you” is a daily statement in our household between all of us. hugs and kisses are never ever spared. and yes, there might be an occasional butt slap when i walk past.

we are not only telling our kids what a happy, healthy marriage looks like, we are showing them.  go ahead, embarrass your littles.  show them you’re healthy marriage.  pursue your husbands heart and plant a big ole’ smootch on him today.   
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be unique.

i am unique.
you are too.
there isn’t anyone in the world like me, or you.
there never has been.
and there never will be.
He made us unique so we would know how special we are to Him.

embrace your uniqueness. own it. be thankful you are an original. how boring the world would be if we were all the same.

you are His perfectly perfect creation, handcrafted by the same hands that made the stars. there are billions of us here on earth, but does that make any of us less valuable? absolutely not! if you found billions of diamonds would they be less valuable because there were so many? Jesus skillfully crafted the body, mind and soul of each and every human being in his/her mother’s womb.

i love being different, unique and not like everyone else. i don’t go with the “latest trend” or the popular thing at the time. i own my uniqueness. that’s why it’s so hard for me to understand others who want to copy me. my wardrobe, speech, actions, traits and words. you don’t have to be an exact replica of someone to be friends with them. just be you. and be the best YOU that you can be. remember, an original is always worth more than a copy.

the next time your self-esteem is lacking or you feel not as pretty, thin, popular, etc. as the next person, just smile and thank the God who made you, died for you, and wants the best for you.


For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13

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Love, Respect and Godly Submission {Respect}

we’ve all heard the saying “men are from mars, women are from venus”.  we all know that’s not true, obviously.  but what is true is God created men and women equally but differently, very differently. we have different designs, different roles and different responsibilities.

God created men with a need to have respect from their wife.  Women were created with a desire to receive love from their husband.  so many times during an argument a wife will react without respect which will make the husband react without love.  that creates an ugly, vicious cycle.

men need to know that they are adequate, that they are enough and that they are worthy of our respect. how often do we truly show our husbands the respect they desire?

so, i know this girl who has a hot, quick temper and a big, fat mouth and she can cut to the bone with words.  she grew up speaking her mind, using harsh words to get her point across. it didn’t mean there was a lack of love for that person, it simply meant she had a point to make. fast-forward to current day.  we now live in an age where it’s common and popular to portray men as idiots, fools and overgrown adolescents. think of how many sitcoms feature an “inadequate husband and wife who knows everything”. and i absolutely admit, i have given in to the “how in the world would men ever survive without us” dynamic. Biblically, i would probably be stoned for my insolence. my husband is a pretty easygoing person, which made it easy for me to step into the role of dictator and look down my nose at him. i tend to micromanage and control and nag and critique. it’s my nature, but it’s not respectful—or loving! and it is something this strong-willed wife is working on, daily.

God’s design for marriage is laid out in Ephesians 5. remember last week we revealed that our marriage was designed specifically to mirror our relationship between Christ and His church. God intended marriage to mirror His relationship with the church so that we could basically be a testimony to others and SHOW them what God is like. that should change the way we look at our marriage.

Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 
Ephesians 5:33

i’ve read this verse over and over again. it doesn’t say respect your husband only when you feel he deserves it, it doesn’t say he has to GIVE respect to GET respect and it’s certainly not up to us to deem when he is worthy of it. God was pretty clear with this verse, the wife MUST respect her husband.  period. unless there is a Biblically moral issue at stake (in which God’s authority will supersede our husband’s).

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

so, i am basically a pro at pointing out my husbands faults and failures. i can pick up on disrespect lickity-split when it’s coming from someone else but can’t see when i’m being totally disrespectful to my husband. if it takes you a while to catch on like me, sometimes it makes it a little easier when you can read a list. so i spoke to various Christian husbands and asked them what they saw as disrespectful.  i’ve composed a little list of their answers.

  • nagging
  • speaking badly of him in front of others and belittling him
  • not spending time with him
  • yelling at him
  • undermining his authority
  • not giving him the attention he craves
  • withholding sex and using it to manipulate a situation
  • cutting him off mid-sentence
  • shifting blame to him
  • body language – sighing, frowning while you talk and eye rolling
  • criticizing him
  • putting yourself first rather than him and your family
  • not having confidence in his decision making
  • showing other men attention rather than him
every man has his own definition of disrespect and what actions show him that. there are some things that basically every man would find disrespectful and some things that are just specific to your husband. what matters the absolute most is what your husband finds disrespectful. ask your husband what actions these are and make a mental note of them, or write them down in your journal. ask him what actions really speak respect to him also. you’ll know which actions to phase out and which ones to increase. pay attention to all his answers.

as wives, we have so much power to destroy our husbands or to build them up. we need to learn to be respectful wives who value our husbands’ leadership. we need to honor Christ with every word and action! i would bet if we showed them more respect they would show us more love. when a wife respects her husband it deepens her love for him. so really, it’s a win win situation for everyone 🙂 lots of respect and lots of love, sounds pretty amazing to me.  Godly submission and respect not only adorns the gospel; it makes us beautiful as well.

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