I sure hope you’re enjoying this journey through Proverbs 31 as much as I am. I’m super excited to continue this week with one of my favorite topics, marriage. Let’s take a look at the next two verses.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:11-12
The absolute first attribute we see of this woman is that her husband has full trust in her. I think the King James Version is beautiful, it says The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Oh trust, can’t we all agree that is such a crucial part of marriage! A solid marriage leads to success in and outside the home. Being trustworthy is such a blessing to your husband.
I was intrigued by the KJV version and what no need of spoil meant, so I dug a little deeper. Basically, he knows that his trust is not misplaced. He knows his wife would not do him wrong, ever. In the winter, my husband works 2nd shift as a plow truck driver. I remember reassuring him the very first year that I could handle our then, 12 and 10 year old, just fine while he worked long hours and many weekends. Though I was tempted many days to lock myself in the bathroom and call him crying, I wanted to support him. I freed him by giving him full confidence that I could manage the home and make wise decisions with the children while he was gone. Soon enough winter was over, everyone was still alive and he had fulfilled his dream of driving truck.
Character quality is very importance. A husband who has a wife who is solid emotionally and spiritually can rest on his wife’s steady support. Not only does he trust her with his money, his children and basically his life…he also trusts her with his heart.
There are a few key areas where your husbands trust of you is extremely important.
Money
He needs to know that he can trust you with the finances. And that you aren’t going to see an infomercial for a $199 juicer, be immediately drawn in and order that puppy quicker than you know. Infomercials are my downfall. If you have good advertising and convince me I need it, I’m all in. I’ve had to learn what benefits us financially and what doesn’t.
Home
Strive to make your home a haven of joy and happiness for your husband to return home to at the end of the day. There is a quote by Martin Luther that I love…let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
Faithfulness
Relationships with the opposite sex are dangerous. Although in our minds they may seem harmless, many times they lead to feelings that shouldn’t be there. It all starts with an innocent glance, a whispered phrase, a caring pat, a kind gesture, thoughtful word or gentle hug. A hurried hand squeeze or double-meaning kidding. These are the danger signals. They all seem so innocent and warm, but can turn dangerous in a flash.
Emotions
Anyone is vulnerable if their heart isn’t guarded; from Sunday school teachers to members of the choir. Don’t underestimate the enemy. We are all at risk. Every. One. Of. Us. Satan wants to draw you away from your spouse. He would love nothing more than to see you stray.
As a wife, you hold the key to your husband’s heart. I specifically remember when Joe and I were separated he sent me a text message that meant more to me than he ever knew. It simply said “you still hold the key to my heart”. Guarding love keeps your focus where it belongs. It protects everything that is important to you. You need to guard the love you’ve dreamed of.
Reputation
We need to remember that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Guard your husband’s weaknesses; don’t announce them to the world. I definitely have weaknesses and I would be mortified and humiliated if my husband teased about it or loudly wished for someone with that strength.
We are called to speak the truth and earn the trust of others. We are to be faithful and enrich not only our lives, but the people around us as well. Which ties directly into the next verse.
She brings him good, not harm, ALL the days of her life. Where does this goodness come from? It comes from her walk with God – it is a fruit of the Spirit. Doing good is a part of her character. Who is she good to? Her neighbors, friends from work or Bible study ladies? Nope – first and foremost – she does good to her husband!
She doesn’t love her husband with conditions and she doesn’t hold grudges. How many of us can say that? Surely not this strong-headed girl right here. Forgiving love is a love that is securely rooted in God’s love for us. God wants our love to be sweet, soft-hearted and lovely. He wants it overflowing with forgiveness. By offering forgiveness, we are offering the grace that God has given us. The Proverbs 31 wife doesn’t cling to prior offenses, tucking them in her pocket to use later. She wipes the slate clean as soon as the offense happens. She knows that will not only set her husband free, but her as well.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
She willingly cooks, cleans, does laundry, cares for the children and is frugal with their money. She willingly submits, respects and praises her husband. She willingly responds to his physical touch and seeks to satisfy him in the bedroom. She doesn’t criticize and nag him over and over for the same flaws but loves him despite his flaws. She knows the power of her words and doesn’t use them to harm him.
How long does this beautiful woman bring good to her husband? All the days of her life y’all. Every single one! In our world, 50% of all marriages end in divorce. But for the Proverbs 31 woman, she is in it for the long haul. For better, for worse…for richer, for poorer…in sickness and in health…all the days of her life. She remains faithfully at his side. And he has confidence that she will always be there. Does this make your heart sad because your marriage is struggling? In the midst of the battle, God hears us. He hears our cries. He can see into the deepest depths of your heart and He knows exactly what it will take to restore hope into your heart, into your life and into your marriage. He showers us with His amazing grace. We have a God who not only knows our doubts and hopelessness, but our tears and pain break His heart.
Pursue God, pursue the Proverbs 31 woman and pursue bringing your husband good all the days of your life!
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