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Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

July 20, 2010

forgiveness

in the past few weeks i’vd had someone from my past try to add me as a friend on facebook.
i KNEW right away there was nooooo chance of that happening.
i would sit on it for a while, fret about it then hit ignore.
and a few days later there would be another friend request from the same person.
again, we’d go through the same cycle.

on my way to work one morning i was thinking about it again.
what exactly is the RIGHT thing to do in this situation.
i mean, to approve them as a friend would be complete foolishness.
then it hit me like a ton of bricks, FORGIVENESS.

this person had done some seriously rotten things to me in the past, as you can see by the layout below.
and for years i’ve held on to that anger.
which, in essence, still let them have power over me.
and finally, it’s time to forgive.

not for them but for me.
it will free me to get on with my life, here and now.
and not be chained to the past any more.
i’m sure it will be a process.

out for now
~kisses

Filed in: Uncategorized • by Amy • 1 Comment

July 19, 2010

guard your heart

three years ago today my marriage fell apart and crumbled right before my eyes
we were living two seperate lives, basically strangers simply co-existing in the same household.
we had endured affairs, hurt, heartache and pain but yet it wasn’t enough to wake us up.
we continued to take turns being the villen, shifting blame from one to the other.
and we didn’t guard our hearts, ever.
when would enough be enough?

my husband left me and our children
in that moment that i knew for sure there was no turning back, he was truly going to leave us.
and i forgave him…before he was even truly gone.
i told him our door would never be closed.
i always, no matter what, gave him the option of coming back home.

i was broken
i’m not going to lie, it took me a few days to pull myself together.
those days were filled with struggling and grasping for anything that would help keep me afloat.
i struggled daily to put a smile on my face for my children and friends.
i told them all i was doing fine when really i felt as though i was dying inside.

then it hit me
i knew exactly what i was suppose to do…what i HAD to do.
and i prayed.
i prayed every second i got.
i prayed with my children.
i would talk to God while i was driving my car like he was sitting in the passenger seat.
it was then that i finally had hope.

God began to rebuild and restore our marriage
it was a slow process that taught me patience and perseverance.
it taught me just how important it is to guard your heart and your marriage.
it taught me to look at myself and my own faults and how to work on them.
it taught me that a marriage has to involve 3…yourself, your spouse and God.
it taught me to believe in miracles.
and three months after my husband left he returned home.

he returned and i fell in crazy head over heels love with this man
it’s a deep-rooted, strong love.
and it’s better than it’s ever been.
i guard my heart and my marriage daily.
i would stand for my marriage and what is right again…in a heartbeat.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

out for now
~kisses

Filed in: Uncategorized • by Amy • 14 Comments

July 18, 2010

those days…

some days all my thoughts are consumed with it…how much i wish i could have lived in the olden days…life was so simple and easy…back before modern day forced itself into mankind, life must have been so carefree and delightful…

i would have loved to be alive back then…when cows roamed free and children ran barefoot…when women tended to the house and men tended to the fields…like must have been so enjoyable and simple…

you lived off the land, canned your own food, butchered your own meat and provided for your family…you got up at the crack of dawn to milk the cows and start a cooked breakfast for your family…you baked fresh bread for dinner…

when mamas stayed home and raised their children…there was no daycare, there was very LITTLE of women working outside the home…and children minded and respected their parents…

God was a force known in nearly every home…everyone wore their “Sunday best” and hitched up their horse and buggy to attended church services…
there were NO cell phones, NO women leaving their husbands for men they met on the internet, kids just weren’t exposed to the trash they are now on tv, MUCH smaller divorce rate, there wasn’t the enormous disrespect there is now everywhere…

i understand we’ve made enormous strides and tons of improvements since then, especially medically, but this life still calls to me…heck, it screams to me…

out for now
~kisses

Filed in: Uncategorized • by Amy • Leave a Comment

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Wife & Mama • Iced coffee seeker & curator of chaos • Collector of words & magic • Obsessed with laughter & bright lipstick • Dreaming & homesteading in the hills of PA

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