Forever Beloved

this month i’ve lost 8 lbs…not too bad BUT i did gain back during the holiday season, so this is mostly losing that weight…

i struggled this month, like hardcore struggled…i began going to the gym every morning and working out for an hour before work, i still instruct my zumba class twice a week and i attended some step aerobics classes…i can honestly say i’ve been working out harder than i ever have in my entire life…so you can imagine my disappointment two weeks in a row when i stepped on the scale and saw the exact same number as the week before…are you KIDDING me, i’ve lost nothing?  frustrated like you would never believe, i knew i was doing something wrong…

i’ve faced this battle by myself for two years now and i can honestly say i’m super proud of what i’ve accomplished…but there has to come a time when you realize you just can’t do it by yourself anymore…for me, that was one hard pill to swallow…i am a super independant woman and normally have the mind set “i can do ANYTHING by myself and don’t need ANY help”…for some reason inside my (crazy) head, asking for help is a sign of weakness and failure…

i thought about this for a few days and then remembered my word for 2011, courage…and i knew what the right choice was…i had to have to courage to finally admit i needed help in this battle…and this last week i joined weight watchers…

i’m so thankful i did and am pretty sure i realized where i was screwing up and why i wasn’t losing…if you can even imagine this, i was eatting enough…that is quite possibly the craziest thing i’ve ever said…i was eating waaayyy less than i should have been daily which was making my body think it was starving…so every thing i ate my body just held on to…

i am determined, moreso now than ever, to continue on my journey…and i know that i will succeed!

out for now
~kisses