I am a Christian. And I believe in boudoir photography.
I’ve been asked a few times how I’m able to be both. So today, I wanted to share with you the reason I believe in boudoir photography and why I think as Christian wives they can be beneficial to our marriage.
First let’s define what boudoir photography is. Boudoir refers to a woman’s dressing area. This can be a bedroom, vanity, or anything of the like. That translates to photography as a portrait shoot that a woman does privately for her man, usually in lingerie. Although the shoot is primarily done as a gift to bless her man, the women find that the shoot is very pampering and creates a space for her to feel feminine, lovely and even sexy.
As women we’re so busy feeling fat or saggy or inadequate that we can scarcely imagine feeling sexy. The hang up about body appearance is more about our own insecurities than it is about their expectations. Nurturing sexual intimacy to its fullest in your marriage has so much to do with embracing the beauty and femininity of who you are. And you are beautiful. When he tells you he thinks you are beautiful and sexy, he really does mean it. Boudoir photography helps you see yourself how your husband see’s you. Time after time I have women tell me “I never knew I looked like that”. And what was originally meant as a blessing to their husband actually ends up changing how they see themselves.
If you have ever wondered how important sex was to God’s heart, notice that He dedicated an entire book to a detailed, juicy exploration of the topic. Find some time to read Song of Solomon 2:3-17 and Song of Solomon 4:1-7. It’s steamy stuff! The Song of Solomon is not an allegory. It’s about a relationship between a husband and a wife. It’s about how the man is delighting in the body God gave his woman and the woman delighting in pleasing her man. That’s the kind of intimacy God intended for husbands and wives. In making them a single body in marriage reveals that it is so much more. The desire to delight in each others beauty is God-given and it’s worth celebrating and preserving.
And while I fully believe in boudoir photography, I also strongly believe in modesty.
That is why I have created a secret Facebook group for the boudoir end of my photography. And I only allow women to join the group. I want my clients to know if they want their images kept private, they will be. I never share my clients images without their permission. And I will never share any of them publicly. These special photos were intended for their husbands eyes only, and I wholeheartedly want to honor that.
God created men to be highly visual. They can’t help it, it’s the way they were built. They are bombarded with images of sexy woman all the time and no matter how much they try to look away and avoid lusting after the women in those images, it’s inevitable that some of those images are going to get in, and stay there, and even pop up from time to time. How beautiful would it be if his memory was chalked full of lovely images of his beloved? And in turn the majority of the images popping up in his mind were images he could cherish and feel good about.
I think any man would be delighted that his wife would think enough of him to give him a gift that takes a lot of courage and love to do. Covering the body can be much more effective than revealing it. Clothing and poses can be modest, tasteful, elegant, cute and sexy. Even wearing shorts a t-shirt, with the right posing, can be sexy while remaining modest!
I also realize throughout the Christian world there are many, many differing opinions on boudoir photography. And that’s okay y’all! We don’t all have the same standards, views and outlooks. God has given us such freedom in this arena. Consider having an open discussion with your spouse about boudoir photography, what you both feel is okay and what your boundaries are. Be thoughtful as you make this decision. No matter where your marriage is, with prayerful and intentional decisions and efforts, the intimacy God intended for you and your husband is possible. If you want to read more of my series on Igniting Intimacy and how important I feel it is, you can do that here.
Oh sweet ladies, your body is a precious gift given to you by the Creator. It’s a gift to your husband and yourself and should be celebrated as such! God created our marriage beds to be a place of red-hot, intimate, passionate connectedness. Although I know this is a highly sensitive subject, sex is an important part of marriage. God didn’t design us to be ashamed of sex. When we lean into God’s original design for deep intimacy in our marriages, shame fades and joy abounds.
