Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

ignite the fire of your marriage {passion}

today begins a new marriage series i am super excited about, ignite the fire.  the topic this week is passion.

do you remember butterflies?  the ones that happened that very first time your boyfriend reached for your hand.  the ones that would happen when he would talk about marriage.  or the ones that happened the first time he kissed you.

the butterflies will eventually be a lot less frequent.  i’ve sadly watched so many people spend a lifetime pursuing new relationships and chasing those butterflies.  just because those new, fluttery feelings might not be a daily occurrence certainly doesn’t mean your marriage is over.

you need to be purposeful about cultivating passion in your marriage.

how can you keep passion alive?  you have to desire it.  you have to want it.  you have to be deliberate about it.  you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to reach the goal.  you have to engage your heart fully in the joyful pursuit.

i read an amazing book, Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Joseph and Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter and Lorraine Pintus.  i would highly recommend this book to every. single. couple.  it is a verse by verse exploration of the Song of Solomon, one of the most loving, romantic and poetic Books found in the Old Testament of the Bible!  if God ever gave us an instruction manual for passion in marriage, Song of Solomon is it!  God wants married couples to have a love so hot, so passionate, so intense that nothing will be able to extinguish it.

so how can you ignite the passion in your marriage?
pursue your spouse.  now, this one is a bit tricky.  men and women are so different.  i know, right, can i get an Amen?  pursuit, to most men, means feeling desired (ladies, read that as “sex”) and affirmed through respect, honor and appreciation. most women, on the other hand, are more likely to want to be pursued through time, attention and tenderheartedness (guys, read that as “romance”).  
  • write your spouse a love letter.  write it in a way that would say “i love you” to them (which means it might not necessary be the kind you would want to receive).  explain to your spouse that you want to work on pursuing passion in your marriage.   
  • initiate a sexual encounter in a creative way, especially if your spouse always initiates.
  • read the Song of Solomon out loud together each night before bed
  • plan a date that revolves around something your spouse enjoys
have fun. when was the last time you did something with the purposeful intention of just having fun together? one of my fav things my husband and i have in common is a love for laughter. actually, his ability to make me laugh was one of the reasons i fell head over heals for him. 
  • plan a spontaneous adventure and surprise your spouse with it. this could be a night away (minus kids) or even a little mini-date. 
  • see a funny movie together, or take in a comedy show.
  • let your hair down and get silly: have a pillow fight or a tickle war.
be positive.  remember the reasons you fell in love with your spouse?  it’s super easy to focus on what annoys us about our spouse, but that is definitely a passion killer.  passion can’t co-exist with negativity.  so, develop a habit of being grateful and appreciative.  guard your heart against taking the good parts of your marriage for granted.  
  • say thank you.  plain and simple.  thank them for big and little things.  thank them for doing dishes, laundry or fixing your car.  i even thank my husband for just loving me (because i am fully aware there are days that can’t be easy).  
  • sit down together and make a list of the top five body parts you love (and think are super hot) about your spouse. (guys…your wife is likely in a body-image battle, even if you think she shouldn’t be. this will mean the absolute world to her)
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Proverbs 5:18-19

this weeks challenge…ignite the passion in your marriage by investing into your husband joyfully. this may look different in every marriage. the challenge is to focus on an area of your marriage that is a little weak and pour time, energy and love into it.


read all the contributors posts on this topic:

out for now
~kisses
[jetpack-related-posts]

hello. goodbye.


today i’m linking up with Allison for her new link up called…hello, goodbye! it is such an adorable idea. i am totally a type a personality and love me a good list.
hello september, goodbye august
hello days spent alone, goodbye summer days spent with my littles
hello fall, goodbye summer

hello jeans + boots, goodbye capri’s + flipflops
hello clean house, goodbye messy house
hello pumpkins, goodbye flowers {betcha can’t guess which one was my sons}

hello cool + crisp days, goodbye heat + humidity
hello truck pulls, goodbye swimming

hello crazy running littles every day, goodbye lazy days with nowhere to go
hello new personal goals, goodbye not having self control
hello canning season, goodbye grilling season

what are YOU saying hello and goodbye to?

Nestful of LOve

out for now
~kisses

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the day i chose happiness

this week was an emotional one.

this mama will protect her littles.  plain and simple.  this week, i felt the need to do just that.  and i was surrounded by other mama’s feeling the exact same way.  

i spent my week being consumed with so so much anger.  i was so angry, basically the thoughts of this took up every second of every day.  y’all, one day i even forgot to eat because i was so mad.  i-love-to-eat.  i spent a week being angry at people that could have cared less.

yesterday, i woke up angry once again.  through a little talk with Him, i refused.  i absolutely refused to spend one more day consumed by anger.

yesterday i chose happiness.

this sounds so simple, just don’t let situations affect you. it’s one of those things that are easier said than done. is it complicated? yes, but not nearly as complicated as Satan is going to try to convince you it is. with God ALL things are possible.

everything we do and say tells a story of who we serve. if we impulsively act and speak out of anger, we are giving the enemy exactly what he wants. i’m sure he chuckles and says “see, i told you that you couldn’t do it”. BUT if we honor the Lord with our words and actions, we are spreading His truth and light. at the end of the day, honoring God leads to good things. 

God tells us in James 1:19 to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. i have to admit, i’ve failed miserably at following all three of those commands this week.  this hot-headed girl is so so so quick to anger and can cut to the bone with words.  and if there was a command in the Bible that said “don’t hang up on people who are disrespectful to you”, i would have failed at that one too.  i sure am thankful for God’s sweet grace. because this girl right here is a slow learner and bullheaded.

the truth is, it’s up to each and every one of us to choose happiness.  and it’s a choice we have to make daily.  it’s waking up and choosing to get out of bed; choosing to smile; choosing to not scowl.

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one
as well as the other.  Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.
Ecclesiastes 7:14

it’s not easy, believe me. my first reaction isn’t joy; it isn’t happiness; it’s anger. the only way i can change that is to make a concentrated effort to choose happiness. to look for the good in the world each and every day. it takes faith to believe that happiness cannot exist without some discontentment. but if change is going to happen, it has to start somewhere, right? so why not with me? why not with you? why not today, despite your situation? let’s be different. let’s be happy. let’s spread His light today.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD
Psalm 40:3

out for now
~kisses
ps…the day i chose happiness, the situation i was so angry about was resolved!  🙂  thank you Jesus!!
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