i grabbed my baby and settled into my rocking chair. she lay naked in my lap with her hair wildly askew, i picked up her bottle and placed it to her mouth. i cradled her in my arms, gently rocking her while humming a sunday school song.
what do you want to be when you grow up?
a question children are typically asked. there are a multitude of common answers…firefighter, policeman, doctor, and veterinarian are among them. my answer always sounded different.
i simply wanted to be a mama.
“but what else do you want to be? you can’t just be a mama. don’t you want to be a doctor and help people? or be a dentist and make lots of money?”
i just wanted to be a mama. that’s it. in my heart and in my soul i knew i was born to be a mom.
as i grew older, the pressure to choose an occupation mounted. so many days i spent wishing others could see what my heart felt.
eventually, i felt my hearts-song slipping away. it was drown out by the noise of school work, life-decisions, college and pressure. it seemed simply being a mama wasn’t feasible or acceptable.
i tucked my heart-song away, only pulling it out when i was alone. fleeting moments spent standing in front of a mirror, imagining my baby belly, dreaming of what my baby would look like and what songs i would sing when they cried.
i was secretly enamored by the black-and-white pictures from the past, where simply being a mama was enough. the days when caroline ingalls would tend her house, fields and babies with a humble smile.
while the world was screaming you must work outside of your home. you must make money. you must help support your family. if not, you’re a lazy, worthless mother my heart was saying trust God. stay home. listen to the song i sing to you. the same song you heard when you rocked your naked baby years ago.
i had a choice to make.
safety and comfort or stepping out and finding my own mama voice.
the choice i made, after years of squelching that voice, was to finally listen to my song. to embrace it. to cherish it. the only regret i have is how long it took me to be brave.
what i’ve now realized is what i’ve referred to as my heart-song, was actually God calling to me. God had called me,even as a young girl, to be a mother, a wife and a homemaker.
i have to remind myself, God doesn’t call us to be the same, to follow what everyone else is doing, He calls us to be different! there is one thing i need {more than money, fame and a fancy career}…Jesus!!! and to be fulfilled in this life i need to follow God’s will for me. for each of us, this looks different.
and if i have the approval of God, the worlds opinion can fall by the wayside.
one book that every Christian wife and mother should read. And the great news is … Courtney has a wonderful gift she’s providing to everyone who pre-orders her book. It’s a 
