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Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

December 27, 2013

Don’t Let Your Body Image Affect Your Marriage

Oh, body image…nothing can affect a wife’s confidence (or more often, lack thereof) quicker than a poor body image. 

So many of us women suffer from low self-esteem. Normally all our self-esteem issues revolve around our physical appearance. We are obsessed about our weight, hair, skin, facial features and so many other areas. You would be hard pressed to find a woman that would not change at least one thing about her appearance. Why do we find it so hard to love ourselves?  

Advertising, pornography, Hollywood, our own unrealistic expectations and possibly even hurtful comments from our husbands have merged into the perfect storm. Time and time again we are told that to be beautiful we need to look like a super model. The media tries to make you feel lower than low every single moment of your life. An unfathomable amount of damage has been left in that storm’s wake.

But the war rages on.

It is no wonder that so many wives (maybe yourself included) are not overly thrilled about getting naked in front or a mirror, let alone with the man they married.

I don’t know about y’all, but my body certainly doesn’t look like it did when I was 20.  I’ve had babies, nursed babies, I have stretch marks, widened hips and gravity has certainly not been my friend.  My body has transformed.  Each transformation seems to ingrain more bodily shame. 


How can we stop this body image war?  What is the secret?

Well, first of all, I wouldn’t hold my breath for the media, advertisers and the porn industry to change.  I’m not so sure that is going to happen anytime soon.

Don’t believe the lies.  Chances are you are basing your actions on lies rather than truth. If you are like most women, you have been told (either directly or indirectly) that your worth is rooted in your appearance. That is an absolute lie.  It’s not that pretty and girly things are bad (like make-up, attractive appropriate clothing and a stylish haircut)… it’s that those pretty things are not who we are.  We are all made in Gods image. Every single one of us. Do you know what that means? I am beautiful, so are YOU, because we are daughters of the King and we were made in His image. Take a moment and let that sink in. You are perfectly perfect and what He wants you to be.  Your value is not in your breasts, hips, hair, lips, eye color, skin tone or stomach muscles.
Get active.  Take a stand.  Fight fat talk.  Be positive.  Accept compliments.  Don’t buy into the media “image” hype.  Talk to your husband about the lies the media loves to force feed us.  Enlighten your children about authentic beauty, authentic sexual intimacy and God’s plan for marriage
Talk to him.  And be completely honest with him.  Study after study would show that the vast majority of husbands desire their wives – and they want wives who want to fully participate in sex and embrace it for the gift it is.  The hang up about body appearance is more about our own insecurities than it is about their expectations.  Nurturing sexual intimacy to its fullest in your marriage has so much to do with embracing the beauty and femininity of who you are. And you are beautiful.  When he tells you he thinks you are beautiful and sexy, he really does mean it.  Believe him.  Accept the compliment and embrace it.  Embrace him and his love.

I can be confident. You can be confident. We can all be confident. We can walk through this world with heads and hearts held high as daughters of the King. Daughters who are messy and broken. With Him, we are transformed into beautiful simply because we are His. Understand your identity in Him and the beauty and freedom He bestows on us and the love He extends to us.

Filed in: marriage, Uncategorized • by Amy • 2 Comments

December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
I pray you have a blessed Christmas as we celebrate our Savior’s birth!

Filed in: Uncategorized • by Amy • Leave a Comment

December 25, 2013

Forgetting Expectations

It’s October, and the air is getting crisper. I make a mental checklist of this years Christmas plans and feel my heart whirling. I want to spend a day baking cookies and making candy with the kids. I want to make my own tree skirt and matching ornaments. I want to shop early and find just the perfect personalized gift for everyone. I want to go to New York City for a weekend and ice skate in Central Park. I want to take my kids to see a live nativity.  Oh, what a perfect Christmas it would be.

Soon after, reality hits.  The combination of a stressy December with my desire to cram multiple memory making opportunities into the season culminated in me having a big, teary, bawling fit. And on Christmas Eve of all days.
I missed my Grandma.  Family get-togethers are long gone.  Someone told my son what his “big” gift was, two days before Christmas.  Self-image issues.  Blah.  Stress.  Blah.  Stress.  Blah. Stress.

I needed to learn to leave the expectations of a perfectly magical {Christmas} behind.


The season will, undoubtedly, hold beautiful moments. But it will also hold cranky, less than cordial, shoppers who sass at you for asking the clerk where the tights are. It will hold kids hyped up about Christmas with a little naughty sprinkled here and there (said naughty might include taking a rubber band to the Christmas service). It might hold adults who don’t mind telling your kids what you bought them. And it could even hold others who don’t mind stirring up trouble for you.

Multiple times today, I’ve found myself praying “Lord, please change my attitude and my heart. Please help my mood and dry my tears. Refocus me on the real reason we celebrate Christmas.”

When it comes down to it, Christmas is simple.  We are the ones that make it complicated.  Christmas is about a baby humbly born in a manger.  A baby that changed the world forever.  When He was born, so was Hope for the hopeless.  When we experience that Hope, we’ll have all the Christmas magic we need.

Filed in: christmas, Uncategorized • by Amy • Leave a Comment

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Wife & Mama • Iced coffee seeker & curator of chaos • Collector of words & magic • Obsessed with laughter & bright lipstick • Dreaming & homesteading in the hills of PA

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