Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

Becoming The Good Samaritan Wife

Do y’all remember the parable of the Good Samaritan?  Anytime I think of Bible stories like this one, that I heard as a child, I can help but replay it in my head in flannelgraph form.  This is a story told by Jesus to illustrate a point.  Let’s read the story:

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
Luke 10:30-35

As much as we like to think of our men as superheros, they aren’t immune to the attacks of the world.  They are the first line of defense for our family.  They get attacked and hurt.  They struggle and fall.  Their circumstances make them feel alone, just the way the enemy wants them to feel.

Attacks can look different for each man.  It could be financial problems, pornography addiction, health issues, alcohol or drug addiction, unfaithfulness or losing their way from Christ.  Every single one of these issues can leave husbands feeling alone, worthless and not knowing where to turn.

When your husband is the one hurting, laying alongside the road, do you rush to help him?  Or do you walk past, thinking “he needs to get over it”, “I just don’t have time” or “it’s not my problem, he did it to himself”.  It’s so easy to get caught up in our own selfish world, becoming just like the priest and Levite, and not wanting to stop and take the time to help our husbands.

Ladies, it’s time to become the Good Samaritan wife.

As we can see from the verses above, the Good Samaritan felt for him.  He bandaged his wounds, look him to an inn and took care of him.  Are you willing to do that?

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18

As wives, we are each called to be our husband’s helpmate.  It doesn’t say we should only help him when things are running smoothly.  Being a helpmate is about so so so much more than that!  It is about helping to lift him when he falls. It is about lightening my husband’s load so that he’s free to carry the burden of leading and providing for our family. It’s about being a listening ear when needed. It’s about being his cheerleader. It’s about being whatever he needs us to be.

Pray. Pray about the situation. Pray about your reaction. Pray for wisdom and words. Stand in the gap for your husband while he’s hurting.

Love him. Show him mercy, love and compassion. Be understanding. Remember that we are all sinners. Shower him with grace and forgiveness.
Encourage. Encourage him with your words and actions. Tell him you love him. Show him physically how much you love him. Thank him. Let him know that you are his biggest cheerleader.

Listen. Let him talk and listen, like actually for real listen. Don’t just nod your head and say “mmhmm”. I may have been guilty of that a time or two. 

Heal.  Remember we are helpmates.  We should want to promote healing, not stir the pot.  Don’t feed into anger.  Instead, look for the positives and point your husband’s heart to the cross.

The Day The Numbers Started To Matter

I was the girl in high school who wore a size 12 but had curves…curves that I hated.  Those curves really caused me quite a few problems.  I was made fun of for basically any small flaw they could find…lips, booty, etc.  I spent my entire teen years wishing I was thinner.  Oh, the years I wasted not appreciating what I had.

I remember one day in particular like it was yesterday.  It was one of those spring days that make your soul happy…birds chirping, sun shining bright and the flowers were in bloom.  And I was having a “thin day”.  We all know what those are, right?  My hair was amazing, my outfit was cute and I was feeling good.  Yes!  It was basically one of the only days I ever felt comfortable enough to wear shorts to school.  I walked to the bus, smiling the entire time.  Today was going to be a good day.  I got on the bus and sat in the seat with my friend.  She looked at me and immediately asked a question.  How much do you weigh?  Oh boy, I’ve never been directly asked that before.  But she was my friend, someone I trusted, so I told her.  She was horrified by my answer, immediately saying she MUST go on a diet because she nearly weighs what I do.  And THAT is not possible.

And in that moment, the numbers started to matter.

From that moment on, I’ve hidden that number deep in my heart.  The only people that know it is God, myself and my doctor (who I’ve sworn to ultimate secrecy).  I could tell you story after story of people piercing my heart with their careless words about my weight…relatives, boyfriends and even strangers.

I am one of those girls that likes to pretend that words don’t hurt my feelings. I like to pretend I can just brush them off, smile and go on about my day. I take the hurtful words, cram them deep down inside and save them for another day. A day that I’m by myself and can pull those words back out and stress over them all by myself.  Hurt doesn’t have a time limit.  Words that were spoken 20 years ago still hurt just as much as if they were spoken yesterday.

But I’ve let those words, and that number, rule me for long enough.
There has been one common thread woven throughout all my weight loss ventures…scale obsession.  Those numbers mattered to me so much that I had to see them daily.  I just HAD to.  My daily mood would then hinge on what that number on the scale was. So many days I would see a bad number then rush to the kitchen to eat out of frustration and disappointment, horrible self-talk in tow.  This was a pattern that had to be broken this time.  
I eventually cut it down to once a week, but I would still sneak on it two or three times throughout the week.  Playing the same pattern I had when weighing daily.  This, my friends, wore me out.  My worth became what those numbers revealed.  
A few months back, I was having some God-talk-time.  Read this as a girl crying her eyes out at her Fathers feet, begging for help.  He revealed to me three things to specifically do some heart work on.  One of them…weigh once a month.  And this girl sat up and listened. 
One quote from the book Made to Crave really jumped out at me.

I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth.

Wow.  Powerful, huh?  Actually reading that made my eyes overflow with tears.  That number had held me captive for so many years, feeling free of it was emotionally overwhelming.

This girl has actually went an entire month without weighing herself.  I know, crazy right?  There were days I walked past the scale and sooooo wanted to hop on it.  Instead, I prayed and gave it to Him.  And He gave me the strength to walk past it.  I will weigh tomorrow morning but I know one thing already, whatever number it shows won’t define me.  I am so much more than a number.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13

20 Budget Friendly Date Ideas

I love going on dates with my husband, whether they are little mini-dates we catch here and there or a full day together. I love that feeling of just reconnecting with him and being able to give him my full attention without interruption. I think it’s so important to take time out of our busy lives to solely focus on each other. It keeps our marriage alive.

Romance doesn’t have to be expensive to be great! Here is a list of free or nearly free ideas to make your dating a pure pleasure:

  • Have a winter picnic. Put a blanket on the living room floor, grab the pillows off the couch, turn the TV off (or to the fireplace channel), turn the music on and light candles.  Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries.  Take time and enjoy each other.
  • Wake your love up early. Have coffee and donuts then head outside to watch the sunrise together.
  • Take a spontaneous drive without having any destination in mind. Turn the music up, sing together, hold hands and enjoy the ride. Make a love song “mix tape” to enjoy during your drive.  This one is one of my favs!
  • Get a movie or 2, popcorn (movie theater if you like), boxes of candy, favorite drinks, and curl up on the couch together to watch a movie. Wait until the kids are sleeping or send them to grandma’s house for the night if you can.
  • Buy a pizza and play board games together.  We love Scattergories.  And when you gamble kisses, it makes losing not so bad.
  • Celebrate your married romance by spending the day in bed together watching TV.  Only get out of bed to grab snacks then hop right back in.
  • Go to the drive-in, pack snacks and a blanket and get cozy in the back seat.
  • Go shooting together, something we love to do.  I mean, hello, seeing your guy handle a gun is pretty hot.  Just remember, safety first!  
  • Have a spa day by pampering each other with massages, candles and music.
  • Sleep in, snuggling together, before heading out to a local coffee shop to start the day off slow together. Take time to hang out for an hour and catch up!
  • Relive your first date.
  • Write a love letter to each other, exchanging them after a candle light dinner.
  • Volunteer together at a shelter.
  • Park somewhere with a pretty sunset, and talk – learn how to become better friends, and laugh a lot. Sometimes it just feels good to get out of the house and look at God’s creation with your best friend.
  • Have a “remember when” night. Reminisce about your dating days, when you fell in love and recall some of your best memories.  Look through old photo albums together and listen to music from back in the day.
  • Take dance lessons. The sexier the better. Salsa anyone?
  • Go shopping and walk through the mall, holding hands of course!
  • Go off the grid for the weekend- no cell phones, no TV, no computers. You’ll be amazed at what you do for entertainment.
  • Head to the ATM and get out $20. Drive around to some local yard sales and see what you end up with! There are tons on the weekends!  Or you could each take $10 and have a little competition.  Winner gets a massage!
  • Fill the bed of the truck up with pillows + blankets, head out in a field and hop in the back to count your lucky stars.  Don’t forget to take some yummy nibbles along.  Have you ever saw a shooting star?  It’s super romantic and you’ll be entertained for hours trying to recognize the stars and looking for them.