Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

The Day The Numbers Started To Matter

I was the girl in high school who wore a size 12 but had curves…curves that I hated.  Those curves really caused me quite a few problems.  I was made fun of for basically any small flaw they could find…lips, booty, etc.  I spent my entire teen years wishing I was thinner.  Oh, the years I wasted not appreciating what I had.

I remember one day in particular like it was yesterday.  It was one of those spring days that make your soul happy…birds chirping, sun shining bright and the flowers were in bloom.  And I was having a “thin day”.  We all know what those are, right?  My hair was amazing, my outfit was cute and I was feeling good.  Yes!  It was basically one of the only days I ever felt comfortable enough to wear shorts to school.  I walked to the bus, smiling the entire time.  Today was going to be a good day.  I got on the bus and sat in the seat with my friend.  She looked at me and immediately asked a question.  How much do you weigh?  Oh boy, I’ve never been directly asked that before.  But she was my friend, someone I trusted, so I told her.  She was horrified by my answer, immediately saying she MUST go on a diet because she nearly weighs what I do.  And THAT is not possible.

And in that moment, the numbers started to matter.

From that moment on, I’ve hidden that number deep in my heart.  The only people that know it is God, myself and my doctor (who I’ve sworn to ultimate secrecy).  I could tell you story after story of people piercing my heart with their careless words about my weight…relatives, boyfriends and even strangers.

I am one of those girls that likes to pretend that words don’t hurt my feelings. I like to pretend I can just brush them off, smile and go on about my day. I take the hurtful words, cram them deep down inside and save them for another day. A day that I’m by myself and can pull those words back out and stress over them all by myself.  Hurt doesn’t have a time limit.  Words that were spoken 20 years ago still hurt just as much as if they were spoken yesterday.

But I’ve let those words, and that number, rule me for long enough.
There has been one common thread woven throughout all my weight loss ventures…scale obsession.  Those numbers mattered to me so much that I had to see them daily.  I just HAD to.  My daily mood would then hinge on what that number on the scale was. So many days I would see a bad number then rush to the kitchen to eat out of frustration and disappointment, horrible self-talk in tow.  This was a pattern that had to be broken this time.  
I eventually cut it down to once a week, but I would still sneak on it two or three times throughout the week.  Playing the same pattern I had when weighing daily.  This, my friends, wore me out.  My worth became what those numbers revealed.  
A few months back, I was having some God-talk-time.  Read this as a girl crying her eyes out at her Fathers feet, begging for help.  He revealed to me three things to specifically do some heart work on.  One of them…weigh once a month.  And this girl sat up and listened. 
One quote from the book Made to Crave really jumped out at me.

I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth.

Wow.  Powerful, huh?  Actually reading that made my eyes overflow with tears.  That number had held me captive for so many years, feeling free of it was emotionally overwhelming.

This girl has actually went an entire month without weighing herself.  I know, crazy right?  There were days I walked past the scale and sooooo wanted to hop on it.  Instead, I prayed and gave it to Him.  And He gave me the strength to walk past it.  I will weigh tomorrow morning but I know one thing already, whatever number it shows won’t define me.  I am so much more than a number.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13
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20 Budget Friendly Date Ideas

I love going on dates with my husband, whether they are little mini-dates we catch here and there or a full day together. I love that feeling of just reconnecting with him and being able to give him my full attention without interruption. I think it’s so important to take time out of our busy lives to solely focus on each other. It keeps our marriage alive.

Romance doesn’t have to be expensive to be great! Here is a list of free or nearly free ideas to make your dating a pure pleasure:

  • Have a winter picnic. Put a blanket on the living room floor, grab the pillows off the couch, turn the TV off (or to the fireplace channel), turn the music on and light candles.  Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries.  Take time and enjoy each other.
  • Wake your love up early. Have coffee and donuts then head outside to watch the sunrise together.
  • Take a spontaneous drive without having any destination in mind. Turn the music up, sing together, hold hands and enjoy the ride. Make a love song “mix tape” to enjoy during your drive.  This one is one of my favs!
  • Get a movie or 2, popcorn (movie theater if you like), boxes of candy, favorite drinks, and curl up on the couch together to watch a movie. Wait until the kids are sleeping or send them to grandma’s house for the night if you can.
  • Buy a pizza and play board games together.  We love Scattergories.  And when you gamble kisses, it makes losing not so bad.
  • Celebrate your married romance by spending the day in bed together watching TV.  Only get out of bed to grab snacks then hop right back in.
  • Go to the drive-in, pack snacks and a blanket and get cozy in the back seat.
  • Go shooting together, something we love to do.  I mean, hello, seeing your guy handle a gun is pretty hot.  Just remember, safety first!  
  • Have a spa day by pampering each other with massages, candles and music.
  • Sleep in, snuggling together, before heading out to a local coffee shop to start the day off slow together. Take time to hang out for an hour and catch up!
  • Relive your first date.
  • Write a love letter to each other, exchanging them after a candle light dinner.
  • Volunteer together at a shelter.
  • Park somewhere with a pretty sunset, and talk – learn how to become better friends, and laugh a lot. Sometimes it just feels good to get out of the house and look at God’s creation with your best friend.
  • Have a “remember when” night. Reminisce about your dating days, when you fell in love and recall some of your best memories.  Look through old photo albums together and listen to music from back in the day.
  • Take dance lessons. The sexier the better. Salsa anyone?
  • Go shopping and walk through the mall, holding hands of course!
  • Go off the grid for the weekend- no cell phones, no TV, no computers. You’ll be amazed at what you do for entertainment.
  • Head to the ATM and get out $20. Drive around to some local yard sales and see what you end up with! There are tons on the weekends!  Or you could each take $10 and have a little competition.  Winner gets a massage!
  • Fill the bed of the truck up with pillows + blankets, head out in a field and hop in the back to count your lucky stars.  Don’t forget to take some yummy nibbles along.  Have you ever saw a shooting star?  It’s super romantic and you’ll be entertained for hours trying to recognize the stars and looking for them.
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Homemade Pore Strips

So, I’m a Pinterest lover.  It’s true.  And one thing I love is browsing Pinterest early in the morning with my cup of coffee.

While doing my morning creep today, I came across a pin that super caught my interest.  I have a little girl that is in love with pore strips.  Seriously.  An entire box in a month.  Anyways, when I saw homemade pore strips I was all whaaaaaaat?!?!  I read the ingredients, YES, have them both.  So I was off to my kitchen to try it on myself first.

Ingredients:

  • 1 Tablespoon Unflavored Gelatin
  • 1 1/2- 2 Tablespoons Milk (any kind)

I measured 1 Tablespoon of unflavored gelatin into a bowl then added 2 tablespoons of milk. I mixed the ingredients together until it had a chunky consistency and then heated the gelatin mixture in the microwave for 10 seconds. DO NOT go beyond 10 seconds.

I slathered it all over my face while it was still runny and set back for 15 minutes to let it do it’s thing. You’ll feel it getting tight on your face.  When it starts to crack when you move your face, then it’s time to take it off.

Later in the day I convinced Miss Thing to let me try it on her.

As you can see in the picture below, it also becomes super shiny when it’s ready to be taken off.  Pic on the left is as soon as I put it all over her.  The right is when it was ready to be peeled off.

And that’s where this post will come in handy.  What not to do with homemade pore strips.

Don’t think “Hey, I have gelatin from 15 years ago, I bet it will work just fine”.  While indeed it will work fine, it won’t smell fine.  It’s kinda hard to get away from a yucky smell when it’s smeared all around your nose.

Do not put it on the little hairs by your hair line. When I say this stuff sticks, I mean it. And it will rip your hairs out. Repeat, it WILL rip your hairs out. Which also means do not put it on your eyebrows. And if you do by accident, wash it off later.

Don’t get the fab idea to put it around your lips, thinking it will make them look soft. What you will find out is you actually have little baby hairs around there that will rip out. The pain will make you temporarily blind. And your eyes will water. Lots.

The thicker you put it on, the easier it is to grab a hold of and take off. Also, if you take it off too soon (while it still feels kinda goopy) it’s harder to take off. So make sure you let it dry completely.

Exciting, right? Jade said she felt just like Goldmember when he was peeling his skin off.

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