Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

may/june weight loss

sorry for the crapish pictures, joe took them early this morning so the lighting is complete crap…
so this is combining two months weight loss into one…april was just not a good month for me…i had my sinus surgery and wasn’t up to exercise at all for a few weeks…then two weeks after my surgery i developed a staph infection in my sinuses and have been dealing with that for a few weeks now…it’s just now starting to clear up thankfully…
i’m not going to lie and try to “pad” the weight i lost for the past two months…that’s part of the process, owning what you REALLY lose or gain…so in the last two months i’ve only lost 3 pounds…i’m not proud of that low a number BUT it’s better than gaining…and hey, a loss is a loss right?  i would have been happier with a higher number but with me not exercising for weeks i will take that 3 pound loss and be happy with it…
i’m just now starting to feel up to really getting back into my exercise routine so hopefully next month we’ll see a bigger number here…
i also just realized i wore this shirt for the february weight loss post…and i can see a BIG difference in how this shirt fits me, which is awesome…
out for now
~kisses

my journey continues…

my weight loss journey still continues, even though i didn’t make my may post.  may 1 seemed to come so fast after my sinus surgery and i just wasn’t really feeling up to pictures and such. 

my diet/exercise is still going well and i’m still losing @ 1 lb a week but lately i’ve been slightly struggling…with myself mostly (and my mind)…there are days i still feel like that fat girl.  there are days i look in the mirror and STILL see her.  and i’m not exactly sure why…i guess maybe it could be that my mind hasn’t totally caught up with my body yet? 

it’s also amazing to me how one small little action can make such a HUGE impact on my self esteem…last week i tried on a pair of shorts in a store…as soon as i looked in the mirror i was once again THAT fat girl…and for the rest of the evening i felt like her.  it’s so frustrating to me how that works.  how can i lose that much weight and still feel like her?  i started my journey because i didn’t like BEING her anymore.

i’m going to keep at it and just work through this, i know that with the help of Him anything is possible.  and i’m thinking this is just another part of my journey.  and honestly, every part i’ve went through on this journey is what has helped me get to where i am today.  and i know eventually i will be “prior fat girl” instead of feeling like “THE fat girl”…

june 1 i will be back with current pics and a total of what i’ve lost for april & may… 

Don’t let the past hold back the dreams you have today

out for now
~kisses

loving myself

i’m finally at a place where i can say i love myself
and i think that is a VERY important step in my journey
i love the good i see in myself
and i embrace my imperfections
i refuse to ever critisize myself as i use to
speaking to myself worse than anyone else ever would
i love having the ability to be positive about myself
and actually be kind to myself
i love to have fun and laugh
i’ve worked really hard over the last year
i’m proud of it and i own it
i might not be the skinniest person out there
but i’ve made one heck of a effort
and NEVER gave up
i refuse to spend my days filled with worry anymore
i pray and offer my worries up to God and know He will handle them
i trust myself
and i have confidence in my abilities
i forgive myself for all the mistakes i’ve made
and i know the Lord forgives me as well
i am truthful with myself
i am closer to the Lord now than i’ve ever been
and i love the peace i feel inside
i am thankful for everything i have in my life
every single day i live and love is a complete joy
i love and accept myself completely and unconditionally

out for now
~kisses