Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

{Semi} Wordless Wednesday

Why I’m Not Raising A Feminist Daughter

I’m a wife, Mama, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, business owner and former feminist.

My Dad always told me I could do anything, whether it be putting shingles on a roof, putting a universal joint in his ’69 Chevy or dragging out the acetylene tanks and welding. I don’t blame this on my Daddy, he had GREAT intentions. And I’m so thankful of the knowledge he taught me.

I’m the one who took it and turned it into a heart issue.

I grew up thinking I could do anything that a man could do. And if a man told me I couldn’t do it, I would make sure to prove him wrong. I wanted to be viewed as strong and independent. I even took the words “honor and obey” out of my vows. No one was going to control me, especially not my husband.

And then I became a Mama.

As my babies were growing up, I realized I couldn’t align myself with feminism anymore. Their message is the opposite of what I’m teaching my kids.

I’m teaching my daughter modesty, they feel it’s patriarchy. I’m teaching my son to be a gentleman, they feel it’s benevolent sexism. I’m teaching my daughter to be submissive to her husband, they feel that’s degrading. I’m teaching my son to be hard-working and provide for his family, they feel that they can provide for themselves. I’m teaching my daughter purity, they feel your body is yours to do with what you please. I’m teaching my son to treat his wife like a princess, they feel that’s offensive.

I simply cannot align myself with a message that has morphed into something accusatory, degrading, offensive and opposed to the morals and messages I am teaching my kids.

I’m actually super excited we are raising our littles the way we are, the opposite of how the world would have them raised. I want my son to be chivalrous, to open doors and carry heavy loads. I want my daughter to be told she’s beautiful. I want my son to take his fiance out on a date and pay the bill without expecting anything in return. I want my daughter to know she can depend on her husband. I want my littles to know the beauty of a Christ-centered marriage.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

The recent feminist campaigns are so degrading, I can’t help but feel they lost their direction amongst the shuffle of finding issues to fight for. Their messages come across so crass and offensive, it actually muddies the water and their direction is no longer clear.

With God, we have clear direction. We have a perfect owners manual for life in the Bible. And in the Bible we see that while we are created equal, we were given specific roles.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:23-25

I recently came across something that baffled me and shook me to my core, feminist Christians.  Their strong opinions left my head reeling.  They don’t believe in biblical gender roles, submission or mamas staying at home.  If you support any of those things and speak out in support, you’re labeled as legalistic.  I was shocked, to say the least, at the disrespect they showed towards men and how easily they belittled them.  
I just caution you to beware of the teachings you follow.  It’s so easy to be lead astray by ministries that seem to be flashy and pretty on the outside.  It’s not until you delve deeper that you find their core belief system is skewed. 
But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. 2 And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. 3 And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.
2 Peter 2:1-3

And that my friends is why we are teaching submission, headship and living a Christ-centered marriage. While it might not be the worlds opinion, we are following Gods word. That will bring joy, peace, contentment, fulfillment and freedom! And in turn, your life will bring glory to God. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Reflecting On 40

Today is my thirty-something-kinda-ish-but-not-really birthday and I want y’all to come along with me as I take a glance back at the past year. Thinking of what all this past year has held blows my mind. Honestly, it’s been one of the most blessed years ever! Though trying at times, I am overwhelmed with joy to see all that I experienced in the last 12 months! So let’s go for a little time-travel and reflect on my journey.

August was filled with lots of canning. Visiting a few Amish farms. School shopping. Visiting the wound clinic insane amounts for my leg. Spending as much time with my littles as I could before school started. Excitedly watching my oldest start college and my littlest start her junior year. And finally becoming tired of the Not Enoughs.

In September I participated in Blogtember by Brave Love Blog, and I enjoyed every day of it! We went to the truck pulls and Harvestfest, had some yummy food and bought some cute crafts.  In the aftermath of the Ashley Madison hack, while widespread heartache was happening, I wrote a post the To The Wife That Just Found Out.  And I wrote to My Future Son-In-Law.

October held 2 weddings, 13 senior sessions and 4 family sessions.  Whew, what a busy month! I wrote to my Future Daughter-In-Law. Lotsa photo editing. Yeah, October was a bit ridic. It also held a sweet, sweet weekend away with my love! And of course, pumpkin everything!

My November was spent being thankful for oh so many blessings in my life. It also held 5 more sessions, including a wedding.  Putting our tree up. Black Friday shopping. Christmas crafting began.  An amazing trip to NY to visit my birth-family, visiting a cider mill and a family photoshoot with them! And amidst all the chaos, I wrote about Quieting The World.

In December I was over-the-moon to have my Christmas spirit back, it felt magical! But I felt it important to tell others it’s okay if Christmas makes you sad. Baking cookies with some sweet girls. Christmas caroling. Making our Christmas cards {one of my fav things!}. We had an amazing, blessed Christmas.  I was reminded of my sweet Grandma while using Her Bowl.  I spent some time reflecting on my sweet Dad, a Man of Gentle Kindness.  And I wrote an open letter to those that have Walked Out of My Life.

This January was my busiest to date with 1 maternity session, 1 boudoir session, wrestling pictures and a newborn session. I shared about the hardest doctors appointment I’ve ever had, that was so difficult to share.  We had dinner and reconnected with sweet friends.  And I wrote a letter to my body.

Oh February, the month of love. I was blessed and honored to shoot my very first birth session.  I wrote a healing post, Piece by Piece.  Newborn session.  The sickest I’ve been in years.  We started prom dress shopping for my youngest little.  And my oldest little graduated college and started his first job.  It’s been a sweet journey watching him learn how to adult.

March was when I was first introduced to LuLaRoe, and quickly became an addict.  More eggs set in the incubator.  Celebrating my parents Love.  Lots of medical tests.  Easter.  And having my own LuLaRoe party!

In April we hatched out our polish babies.  Volunteering a food bank with the teen group. Looking back on how we’ve always tried to be that house.  I spent the day with my sweet childhood bests.  And spent another weekend away with my love!

May was full of fun! Celebrating Mother’s Day.  Prom x 2.  Three birthdays.  A big birthday shrimp boil with a fun family.  Lots of pictures.  And our own big family photoshoot swapped with another sweet-as-pie photog.  I did a lot of loving on my sweet girl as she walked through a hard valley in her life.  And I wrote a hard post about parenting a child with anxiety.

In June I had 2 weddings. School was over, and my littlest was home with me daily.  Also my youngest got her first job, babysitting 3 sweet kids each Monday.  Joe and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, which prompted me to write a Open Letter to my Husband. My sweet Dad turned 80, and lots of people sent him cards!  A week of Bible school, and taking on the task of puppets. Father’s Day. I wrote about Walking Through Friendship.  And my love and I had yet another weekend away, we’ve been blessed this year with lots of time reconnecting!  I have a sneaking suspicion God is training us for when we have an empty nest.

July held the best family vacation ever. EVER. It was epic. My oldest proposed to the sweetest girl ever while on vacation.  I did a weekly blog series on Love, Respect and Godly Submission. Being eternally thankful for my God-scripted love story. And lotsa lotsa lotsa pictures.