Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

How to Handle Unwarranted Advice

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I know you’ve been there.
Have you ever…
Did you think of…
Why don’t you try…
If you are trying to lose weight, no doubt you’ve heard those statements at one time or another.  I think we all have.  And some of us might even be the ones saying them.
That morning, you just realized your favorite jeans are just a little too tight to button.  You’re upset but you remember you still have your absolute favorite t-shirt to comfort you.  You slip it on over your head only to find out it now fits differently as well.  Frustrated, you throw them on your bed and go back to your comfort zone…sweats and your husbands t-shirt.  
Still feeling down, you head downstairs to weigh yourself.  You know you’ve been following your eating plan, exercising more than usual and following along in the daily dieting devotional.  You take a deep breath and step up onto the scale, looking straight ahead, afraid to look down.  When you muster up the courage and look down, you see an additional 3 pounds that wasn’t on there before.  NO no no, surely that can’t be!  
Sadness overwhelms you.  You decide to sit at your computer and try to get your mind off of things.  As you sign on to Facebook, you are bombarded with images.  How can there be so many thin people in the world and I can’t even fit into my fat clothes?

And then it happens. In that very moment of wishing you were in a dream, someone messages you with just a simple suggestion on your dieting journey. Ugh. As you desperately attempt to hold back the tears, you don’t understand how others can be so blind.  For minutes, or hours, you stare blankly at the screen. Speechless.

I’m sure you and I could sit down over a cup of coffee and tell all the stories of unwarranted weight loss advice we’ve been issued. In fact, couldn’t we replace the word weight loss with parenting or basically any other activity?  One of my never-forget stories from years ago is the one where a gentleman, a total stranger, thought it was appropriate to tell me the food on my plate was all very fattening.  I wish he knew how much that one sentence broke me.

We’ve all encountered the times when someone, whether family, friend, or stranger, has offered advice in poor timing or tough circumstances. At this point, we have to choose how to handle the overload. Here are 4 tips on how to handle unwanted advice:


Pause and pray – Breathe deeply, ask God for grace, swallow any sassy words and smile.

Everyone has their own opinion – Even Godly people will disagree and you are not accountable to others for your actions. We are accountable to God for our decisions and actions.

Understand that they don’t know your journey – They don’t know your journey and their words may come from a genuine part of their heart. They don’t know the struggle you just had with jeans not fitting, stupid shirts fitting weird and the scale being dumb. Cut them some slack.

Expect it and prepare your response – When that stranger told me my plate of food was fattening, it broke my spirit. But thankfully, I thought before I spoke. While I might have seemed rude by turning around and walking away, trust me, it was better than what would have been said. Since then, I’ve established a mental plan for handling unwarranted advice {or rude statements} so that I can deal with it graciously. That is how God would want us to deal with it, with grace.

To those of you issuing the advice…please please please please think before you speak. While you might be offering advice from the bottom of your heart, understand that some subjects (weight loss, parenting, etc.) are touchy and feelings are easily hurt. Taste your words before you speak them.

Words She Needs to Hear {to the men}

A few weeks ago I did a post called Words He Needs to Hear, about showing our husband our respect through our words of affirmation.  Since then I’ve been thinking how important it is for us, as wives to hear those same words of affirmation from our husbands.  While normally my blog posts are directed towards wives, today this is for husbands.  So wives, call your husband in the room and let him have a little look at

today’s blog.

If I asked for a show of hands of “How many of the wives have had too much affirmation over the past month?” what would I see? Would nearly every wife raise her hand? Would your wife raise her hand? Or would laughter break out across the room.

As women, we often have the feeling that life is ridiculously fast. We have to wear a million different hats as life comes at us with the speed of a thousand gazelles and the chaos of a concert at the state fair. Add to this the voices everywhere around us saying we aren’t enough. We get wrapped up in the lies the world loves to throw at us. They love to target women. Wives often go through their day to day life having a feeling that they just don’t measure up.

How can you help?  I have a sneaking suspicion that your words of affirmation…words of beauty, truth and love…could help drown out those voices.  Every wife wants to hear those words but more importantly, they

need to hear them.

Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 
Ephesians 5:33

Help her defeat the lies of the world today guys…

♥ You’re beautiful. I love you just the way you are.

♥ God wanted me to be happy…that’s why He made you my wife.

♥ Thank you for loving me.

♥ I’m glad you’re my best friend.

♥ So the kids are in bed…wink wink

♥ Our kids sure are blessed to have a Mama like you.

♥ I’m a rich man because you are my wife.

♥ You’ll always have my heart.

♥ I’m sorry

♥ I love the home that you’ve created.

♥ I’m a better man because of you.

♥ You’re worth it.

♥ Thank you for being my helper!

♥ You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

♥ I am such a blessed man thanks to you!

♥ I love spending time with you.

♥ Yeow, you look fabulous in that outfit!

♥ Your heart is safe with me.

♥ You are a woman of integrity.

♥ I want to grow old with you.

Does The World Hate Girls?

My 14 year old daughter was told something yesterday that broke my heart {and made her 16 year old brother mad}…the only women that wait until marriage to have sex are either molested or are perfect little Christian girls.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but, I was.  I knew purity wasn’t something being taught but I didn’t sure didn’t imagine there was a belief that to be a virgin you must have been molested.  My heart was so saddened.

When did the world start hating our daughters?  How do we raise girls in a world that obviously devalues them?  How do we encourage purity when the rest of the world hates it?

The world does it’s very best every single day to degrade the marriage bed. Purity isn’t something that is admired in the world, it’s mocked to no end. In fact, I saw a quote online that said “virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity”. You can even buy a t-shirt with that quote on it.  I was reading an article on purity and, as you can imagine, people were tearing it apart. There were comments such as “Purity isn’t a reality in this day and age,” “Sex outside marriage is not wrong,” and “Abstinence doesn’t work”.

We live in an anything-goes society. Although 80 percent of the country identifies themselves as Christians, sex outside marriage has become a common occurrence and is thought of as an event of little consequence. With statements of “Well what can you do” ringing through the air.

And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. 
Mark 10:8-9 

Sex is good. Hello, God created it…He called it “good,” and it existed before there was any sin in the world. Sex was not created by Satan, Playboy, the Internet or some creepy pervert lurking in the shadows of a porn shop. However, God wants us to keep sex within his intentions and requirements, not the world’s. God designed sex for the sacred union of marriage between a man and a woman, and reserves it for that union.



Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Hebrews 13:4
Purity is beautiful. Valuable. Precious. An amazing gift given to us by God to give to our spouse. There is a much better way, Gods way. His plan is certainly better than any we could make! God loves you and thinks you are so precious! He absolutely treasures you. He wants you to save your body and your heart for the one person you will spend your life with. The one person you will enter into that amazing covenant of marriage with. Think of what an amazing gift you would be able to give your future spouse on your wedding day. Not only would you be giving them your whole heart but you could also give them your whole body as well. What an awesome gift that would be!
Oh sweet Mama’s, don’t give up on your girls.  Don’t be embarrassed to talk to them about it.  I guarantee if you aren’t talking to them about it, someone is.  If you don’t tell them your views the world will be quick to them it’s view.  Tell them that purity is cool (although the world would never tell you that). Just look around, we are constantly bombarded by sex. When you fall in love, it’s natural to want to express your love in physical ways. But you also know God wants you to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it’s a tough balance, but showing love for another and remaining pure is possible. Respect yourself, respect your partner but most importantly respect God. And remember, you’re a lady! Make him treat you as one!

Girls…you are beautiful and perfect the way God made you, you are His masterpiece. You do NOT need to conform to what the media is trying to pressure you into. Don’t listen to the lies of the world. You are beautiful and precious just the way you are. Purity is where true freedom is found…the freedom of knowing that your Heavenly Father has your life all figured out and you are happy to just take the ride.


Our daughters are precious, intrinsically valuable and deserve better — they deserve to be cherished and protected. -Amy Gerwing