Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

Enough {Book Review}

Enough
10 things we should be telling teenage girls
by Kate Conner
About the book:

You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.

In a book based on her run-away blog post “Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls,” which garnered more than 2 million views in two weeks, Kate Conner calls us to action in Enough. We all have teenage girls in our lives who we love, whether it’s a sister, friend, or daughter. Kate has identified 10 things these girls need to hear today from someone who loves her.

Peppered with wit and laced with grace, Kate’s list tackles relevant issues like Facebook, emotions, drama, tanning beds, modesty, and flirtation. Woven into each chapter is a powerful message of worth that transcends age, and will touch the souls of women, young and old alike: You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.

A former youth-worker, wife to a college minister, and a young mom in her twenties, Conner stands squarely in generational gap, the perfect place from which to bridge it. Conner offers herself as a translator, helping you to speak your teenager’s language and equipping you with a fresh perspective from which to engage your teenage girl—one that may enable her to truly hear your heart (and your wisdom) for the first time since puberty.

I was so so super excited to get this book.  If there is one thing I’m an advocate of, it’s letting our girls know they are enough.  To have them shut out the voice of the world and listen to the only voice that matters.

I took this book along with us on vacation, hoping to have it read by the time we returned.  The first night we were there, I took it out on the porch with us.  I got comfortable and ready for a good night of reading.

The first few pages I totally agreed with but then I came across a paragraph that made me stop.  Did I misread it?  I read it again.  Nope, that’s what it said.  I though about it and read it again.  I had Joe read it.  I just couldn’t get past that one statement.  It might be me overreacting.  It might have just struck a nerve with me that it wouldn’t strike with anyone else.  This is what it said:

Men like to look at women.  Even married men.  Even happily married men.  Even good, kind, respectful, stand-up men.  Even Christian men.  Men are hardwired to enjoy women.

While I do agree with that statement, for some reason I found that offensive.  To me, it made it sound like happily married Christian men like to look at “women” and it’s okay because they are hardwired that way.  As in everything, we each have our own opinion.  Wanting to give the author the benefit of doubt, I continued to read it.  And boy, am I thankful I did.  Had I stopped there, I would have missed so so so many good points.  Some that I’ve even blogged or wrote on FB about myself!

She goes on to touch on 10 subjects we should tell our teen girls…

1. If you choose to wear shirts that show off your boobs, you will attract boys.

2. Don’t go to a tanning bed {this one I’m not so sure of, this Mama loves to tan}

3. When you talk about your friends “anonymously” on Facebook, we know exactly who you’re talking about. 

4. Newsflash: the number of times you say “I hate drama” is a pretty good indicator of how much you love drama.

5. “Follow your heart” is probably the worst advice ever. 

6. Never let a man make you feel weak or inferior because you are an emotional being.

7. Smoking is not cool.

8. Stop saying things like, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.”

9. Don’t play coy or stupid or helpless to get attention.

10. You are beautiful. You are enough.

I know, right?!?  Those are some amazingly honest and TRUE points our girls need to realize and remember.  What I eventually realized is Kate is just honest and forward, not holding anything back {like another girl I know}.  Had I of judged this book by that little quip that I didn’t like, I would have missed out on a great book.  So I guess the old adage don’t judge a book by a yucky paragraph is true.    

B & H Publishing Group provided this book to me for free in exchange for this honest review.

{Semi} Wordless Wednesday

Judging Others

This is a subject God has been laying on my heart for quite a while now. And I kept saying “Awwwww God, are you sure? This is a hard topic!”. I seriously doubted I could do it and i made a million excuses as to why I couldn’t. Honestly, I’ve been putting it off. It’s a risky subject to talk about. It’s a subject that every. single. person. in the world like to weigh in on. As I keep putting it off, God keeps nudging me and has met me at my doubts. He even put a book in my path that was filled with this topic. Finally, today, I’m trusting Him with it.

The topic…judging others.

First of all, let me get it out there: I am a recovering judge. Not the good kind, who approaches sinners in love and addresses sin in a biblical manner. But the bad kind, who casts judgment with a condescending glance {y’all, I have this look down pat}, a whispered tsk-tsk and an eye roll. When I was first married, my husband would say “You think you’re so much better than them” and I would promptly respond with “No, I know I’m better than them”. I know, I know…not my most shining moment as a Christian.  I’m telling y’all, I bet working on this girls heart wore God out some days!

How many times have we all heard ‘Don’t Judge Me’, ‘Judge not’, ‘Stop Judging and Love’, ‘Who am I to judge?’ or other similar ones these days.  And I’m sure we’ve all saw the quote below.  I see it just about daily either on a friends Facebook wall or pinned on their Pinterest.  While I agree, we all do sin differently, I was curious about this subject from a Biblical perspective.

As Christians, we are often accused of being judgmental. Goodness, poor Phil Robertson created two media crazystorms being accused of being judgmental. As soon as you start talking about judging, the first verse pulled out is Matthew 7:1, Judge not, that ye be not judged.

I do agree with this…tearing others down, judging harshly, judging their hearts, making rash and unkind judgments is all wrong.  Totally wrong.  It’s absolutely not our place to judge others hearts.  There is only one person that can do that, God.

But if we were all honest, don’t we all judge every day?  Don’t we all make calls every day based on wisdom and discernment?  Y’all, that’s judging!  As a Mama, don’t you judge television shows to see if your kids can watch them?  As a wife, don’t you judge what actions you should and shouldn’t do?  Don’t we make daily calls on what is wise to spend our money on?  And hello, have you ever sat on a jury?  Yep, that was all you judging someone.  So can we really actually say we should all just stop judging?

Did Jesus judge others?  I mean, surely He came into contact with tons of sinners.  How did He handle it?  When Jesus encountered people who were caught in sin, first He showed them love, (the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery), then He told them to go and sin no more. He never insisted they stop sinning first.

Wow.  So before He judged them, He loved on them.  He didn’t scoff at them, roll His eyes and treat them poorly.  HE LOVED THEM! Is it easier to hear criticism from someone if they loved on you first? If they said it with kindness and you knew their heart was in the right place? You betcha! It’s all about love people. Gods greatest commandment was love one another {John 13:34}.

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
Matthew 18:15

Now let’s get to the hard part, the actual judging.  The Bible tells us that we are our brothers keeper and we are to care about each other.  If we see someone in the church that is struggling, it’s our place to go to them in love and talk to them.  In essence, judge.  Honestly, what our “judging” should look like is being filled to the top and over flowing with love, caring and helpfulness.  We all stumble and fall and we all need someone to help pick us up.

Is there a pregnant teen in your church?  Take her to lunch, see what she needs, throw her a shower…SHOW her God’s love.  Is there someone in your church having an affair?  Go meet privately with them, tell them you know what’s going on and ask how you can help, direct them to a marriage counselor…SHOW them God’s love.  Is there a new member of your church that is homosexual?  Take them to lunch, get to know them, reach out to them…SHOW them God’s love.  That, my sweet friends, is what our judging should look like.

Let me end this by saying I’m far from perfect myself and sure need lots of reminding from the Lord as to how my walk should be going. But thankfully His grace is new every morning. I just hope to maybe give a little honesty and hopefully open your heart to God’s direction.