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Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

August 15, 2017

An Open Letter to My College-Bound Baby

My Dearest Baby,

Well.  Here we are.  As tempted as I am to simply say Don’t go, I know that isn’t fair.  It isn’t fair for any of us.  The hardest thing I’m ever going to have to do as a Mama is allow you to spread your wings and fly.  But you’re a child of God, only loaned to me for a while.

In just a few short weeks you will begin a new journey.

It’s going to be hard as crap.  It’s going to be amazing.  It’s going to be exciting.  It’s going to be scary.  You are going to be constantly surrounded by new people, temptations and a new environment. You are going to mess up a time or two. But, my sweet little one, just remember…

YOU ARE LOVED.

I loved you from the minute I knew you were forming inside my body.  I loved your first kicks and movements.  First, my sweet little toe-headed boy came along.  And two years later you came along to complete our family, my sweet little dark-haired, round faced girl.  And I was hooked forever.

I still love you both.

Being your Mama has been such a delight.  Well, most days it has.  There were a few days where you made me realize why animals eat their young.  But we persevered through together, and everyone is still alive.

It seems like in the blink of an eye you are heading off on your own.  According to your birth date you are an adult.  Funny though; despite you being an adult in the eyes of the world you are still my baby and I can still look at you and see both of you playing quietly on the living floor.   I can look at you now and see the strong, smart, and thoughtful people you have become.  It never ceases to amaze me that you are both mine; that somehow I was fortunate enough to be chosen as your Mama.  I often think how strange it is that the world sees parents as teaching their children, when in fact you both have taught me so much.

And now my youngest, my sweet baby girl, is heading out into the world on her own.  So let me share a few things with you to get us all through the next few weeks and months.

I will cry.  I will cry lots.  I’ll pass your room and part of me will feel empty and incomplete.  You are leaving and moving onto the next chapter in your life.  One that I am a bystander in, as it should be.  I cannot express how proud I am of you.  And so happy for you.  Sadness enters the picture because the moment you pull out of driveway and head toward college, our lives will never be the same.  You will come home with new opinions, new experiences and new friends.  All of these are wonderful and truly amazing aspects of college life.  But the person who returns home will not be the person I sent off.  Sadness comes in because I will no longer be able to protect you and shelter you.

I will repeat myself.  Rest assured it’s not because I don’t think you are listening.  It’s for me.  I need to be sure that I have told you every last piece of advice I can send your way.  After all, my sweet girl, we are closing a chapter and I know best how to mark time with words.  This way, for our next ‘chapter,’ we will know where we left off.

  • Don’t let your gas level fall below a quarter of a tank.  And if you do, call me.  I’ll throw a container of gas in my car and come rescue you.  Just know, I’ll be hoppin’ mad when I get there.
  • Dad and I have managed to get you this far in life healthy, whole and in one piece.  Now your safety and future is up to you.  Ask yourself four questions before you consider doing something.  Is it safe?  Is it legal?  Is it moral?  Would my Mama kill me if she knew about it?  If you cannot say “yes” to any of the four, it’s probably not a good idea.
  • Always, always be aware of your surroundings.  And listen to your gut instinct.
  • Try to eat something not out of a box or cooked in the microwave at least once a week.  A visit home on the weekend would help with this one.
  • Chase your dreams!
  • Surround yourself with great friends who encourage and inspire you.
  • Talk to your brother often.  Don’t let anything come between that amazing relationship the two of you have.  Facetime and watch Bobs Burgers together.  Call each other just to say the other ones name and then hang up.  Just let each other know nothing has changed, even with the distance.
  • Be nicer than you have to be to people you don’t want to be nice to.
  • Manage your finances well.  The chance that you actually need a coon skin cap or a rare Pokemon card are slim to none.
  • Make your own mistakes, but please try to skip the ones I have already made.  I only left you a few, so choose yours wisely.
  • Know that your bed and your room will always be here for you, but please leave it clean when you go, so that when I look in, I won’t be irritated and text you to express my irritation.
  • Look in the mirror every day and see yourself as I see you – smart, talented, with quick wit and a giant heart.
  • Jade – remember that you are beautiful.  So make sure you fall in love with someone who not only treats you beautifully, but will continually point you toward Jesus.
  • Don’t forget who you are and where you came from.  Remember, you are a child of the King!  Continue to let your light shine for Jesus.

I will stalk your social media, but you already know that.  I need these glimpses of your new daily life, your new routine, your new normal.  And I will question your social media activity, just as I do now.

I will text you stupid jokes that I know only you would laugh at.  Oh, how I’ll miss our daily laughter.

I will worry.  I will wonder if you are tucked safely in bed with your door locked.  I will wonder if you are eating well and getting enough sleep.  I will worry about the pressure your are placing on yourself.  I will wonder if you are making new friends and staying true to yourself and to God.

I will continue to be amazed by you.  I still don’t know how we managed to raise two smart, funny, loving, caring, goal-oriented and sweet-as-pie kids.

Love,
Mama

Filed in: parenting • by Amy • 2 Comments

June 7, 2017

An Open Letter To My Daughter On Her Graduation

Dear Jadie:

Love is not easy to put into words, especially a mother’s love, the depth of which is unfathomable.  From the very beginning, I knew you weren’t mine to keep.  When you were little, an amazing woman reminded me that you weren’t mine to keep, you had only been loaned to me by God.  And with that, I gave you to Him.  God’s grace is an active part of your life, has been from that day. His promises to us are your promises too.  They always will be.

From the moment you were growing inside of me, you’ve always done things your way and in your own time.  You weren’t going to let someone else decided what day you were bursting into this world.  You took your time, and decided two weeks later was a great time to make your debut.  Crawling, walking, talking…all done on your own time.  From the beginning, you were born with a desire to be different and stand out.

When I look at you now, gorgeous and confident, I don’t just see an seventeen-year-old girl, I see you in all of your life’s stages at once.  I see you as a newborn in my arms while I sing You Are My Sunshine, a blur of brown hair trying to catch her brother to bite him, the sweet little pig-tailed girl excited to ride the bus with her big brother and early Christmas mornings sitting on the stairs waiting for the okay.  And oh, how many times I watched you come down the stairs with the craziest outfits on we’ve ever saw, proudly proclaiming you were ready to go to Jesus {church}.  I remember a jean skirt with a chain on the side, the yellow dress of a 6th grade graduate, the cheerleading uniform, the proud new driver, and now, a beautiful young lady.The recent images run together in a blur.

Teaching you to drive – laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and being so thankful none of us died.  A million scary movie and pizza nights.  Your Baptism at church, with your Dad and brother.  Sweet last good-byes said to a loving Great-Grandmother, Meme and Papa Puddin.  This Mama is so privileged to have enjoyed such focused time with my littles.  Long walks, shopping, pools, beaches, cooking, movies; transporting you and your brother to a million practices and back.  One thing we have always kept a priority…family time.  How blessed am I to have littles that enjoy it just as much as I do.

I cannot begin to count the many things you have taught me as I have watched you grow.  From you I have learned the power of a tender heart, filled with compassion and mercy, as I have witnessed your quiet kindness to others all of your life.  And in that tender heart there has always been a place for children with special needs.  I will never forget how upset you were when a boy with special needs was being picked on in school.  You immediately jumped in and put him under your wing.  If that meant you taking the teasing for him, you were willing to do that.  You developed an instinct and desire to protect them by going through your own struggles with Dyslexia.  You’ve never once been afraid to step in and defend someone when it was called for.  You are aware of how great and wide God’s love for you is and you share that with others.

Let’s be honest here, high school wasn’t always easy.  You entered a different person than you are leaving and there are scars to prove it.  Scars are like beautiful battle wounds, though – they remind you of what you have been through and how strong you are for coming out healed.  No one leaves high school without any scars.  I hope you know the moments you got hurt just make you normal and human.  You are better off for what those moments taught you about your strengths, your resilience and your inner toughness.

You learned what true friendship looks like and you chose to beat your own path.  You learned to be more concerned with your character and your integrity than your reputation.  You showed courage to stay you and not follow the crowd.  You learned to laugh at yourself and laugh with others.

You taught me how to find joy in the moment and to laugh at even the hardest situations.  You have such a gift of making others laugh.  Your sarcastic humor and ability to be completely random is a constant source of delight that lightens our days.  It reminds us to relax and not take everything so seriously.  Movie quotes and song lyrics, you’re fluent in those!!  We’ve laughed till we’ve cried {or peed your pants, in my case}.  You’ve always kept our household happy!

You used to have the most horrendous fights with your brother.  Oh, the fights…I thought they would never end.  It has transformed into the sweetest sibling relationship.  The bond you have is one of the most amazing, happiest, sweetest things to watch.

Each chapter you go through in life has a specific lesson that God, in His all knowing wisdom, sees that you must learn.  Painful chapters draw us near to Him, and joyful chapters let us rejoice in Him. Both are important.  God has a purpose and plan for your life Jadie.  Always follow His lead and He will take you amazing places.  You are God’s handiwork, crafted by Him and for His good pleasure.  He uniquely designed you to be you alone, comfortable in your own skin.  Never will there be another Jade.  Never will someone else impact the lives you have and will in the future as only you can.

Jadie-babe, I love you.  You have brought such happiness into our home, such unbounded joy, such faith.  I could not be more thankful for you and proud of the woman you have become.  Your character and integrity are important to you. You have been blessed with height and people will have to look up to you during your lifetime, the important thing is to make them want to.

And we love you. We love you in the knowledge that though our love is imperfect, flawed by our own weakness and fear, God’s love is pure, welcoming, and relentless. Where our love may not see clearly, God’s love cuts through the fog with clarity and truth. Where our love is strong, God’s love is stronger. And where our love in its imperfection may seem sometimes to hurt, God’s love – which is perfect – will always heal.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13, 7-8.

Filed in: parenting • by Amy • 1 Comment

April 20, 2017

An Open Letter to my Son’s Girlfriend

Dear sweet, beautiful girl…

When I first heard that you were dating my son, I may have rolled my eyes.  It wasn’t anything against you, I promise.  I just wasn’t into the possible drama that would ensue.  I didn’t want my household dynamics to change.  I didn’t want to lose time with him to someone else.  Basically, I was selfish.  I had a hard time believing anyone would be good enough for my son.

And then I met you.

The first time I saw the two of you together I knew you were a sweetheart.  I could see the way you looked at my son, how you hung on his every word and how easily he made you laugh.  I knew, at that very moment, it was my time to step aside.

My job as his Mama was to welcome you into my family with open arms.  I pray I did that well.

Years ago, as I held that sweet little toe-headed boy in my arms and gently rocked him to sleep, I began praying for you.  As I watched my son grow, I prayed that God would create a woman to love him just for who God made him to be, and that He would bring you both together in His timing.  Oh, if you only knew how much you have been prayed for.  I prayed for your protection, your purity and your heart.  I prayed for a girl who would always love Jesus more than my son.  That’s exactly what we got.

Throughout the years, I couldn’t possibly imagine another woman coming first in his life.  He was my baby, my firstborn, my sweetheart, my bubby and will always be.  But I never want you to think that because he is my heart and soul that I will always agree with the things he does.  Know that if he hurts you or disrespects you, he will have me to answer to.  And believe me, no one wants that.  He has been shown by his Father and his Pap how to respectfully treat a woman and please have no doubt that he is being held to that same high standard.

As much as I try to be, I am not a perfect Mother.  I will mess up.  And sometimes those mess ups are real doozys.  But please understand that when I do, I am more devastated then you could ever imagine.  And if you ever feel like I have overstepped or hurt you in some way, I pray that you will sit me down and talk to me about it.  Our relationship is very important to me, and I hope you never doubt that.

There are a few things I want to share with you today…

1.  You are beautiful, don’t ever let anyone tell you different.  Not only were you blessed with physical beauty, but you have a heart like no other.  Always remember God gave us, as women, the gift of softness, femininity and beauty. It’s our responsibility to convey those with respect.  Allow your appearance to reflect your pure and virtuous heart. Know your worth and reflect it on the outside.

2. This boy of mine.  He is tenacious.  He is faithful.  He is generous.  He is a spitfire.  He is ridiculously stubborn.  But, when he is in, he’s all in.  You never have to doubt his commitment.  He loves deeply, with everything that is in him.  He is ten­derhearted, in that hard, rugged way.  But, I think you know all of that.  Be careful with him.  Your words have great power to build him up or to tear him down. Never forget the power you have.  Proverbs 14:1 teaches us that “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Yes, yes, and yes.  That is a hard concept to grasp.  I’m still trying to get it right after 24 years of marriage.  Choose the good.  Choose the joy.  Choose the love.  Choose tenderness and compassion.  You’ll be blessed so much more with those.

3. You are a daughter of the King and a complete gift.  Treat yourself with the respect that you deserve as a lady.  Don’t unwrap the beauty of who you are for anyone.  My son has been taught to do the same for you.  Please protect your heart, your mind and your body.  It will be worth it.

4. Remember to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbors as yourself.  These truths, combined with the strength of your wonderful character, have the power to change the world.

5. God has amazingly big plans for your life!  Always follow His lead, even if that means taking the hard road.  I promise, He will take you amazing places.

It takes a special girl to fit into our crazy.  And somehow, you do it with ease.  You walked into our lives and it felt like you were always there.

And watching the absolutely adorable relationship you have with his sister makes my Mama heart melt.  You purposed to create a special bond with her.  You two are more like sisters, minus the fighting over clothes thing.  Thank you for loving my sweet girl, she thinks the world of you.

And thank you for loving me.  Thank you for the thoughtfulness you put into the words you say.  And the way that you say them.  Your kindness is the sweetest.  Your beautiful heart shines from your face.

Writing this, it might sound like I have it altogether.  Would it surprise you to know I’m crying?  Probably not, because that’s something we have in common.  We’re both criers.  And I know you have tears running down your face reading this.

It’s hard to have a boy so wonderful as mine and know you’ll have to give him up someday.  My Mama heart will be breaking all around the edges.  I’m being honest.  But I know as sure as I sit here, tears rolling down my cheeks, that there’s no girl in the world I’d rather release him to…than you.

This.  This is why.  I’ve never seen my baby so happy.  Ever.  I’ve never watched him protect and love someone like he loves you.  I’ve never watched someone make him a better man just by their presence.  And I’ve never been more sure of God’s plan for his life than when I see the two of you together.

I love you, pretty girl.  Thank you for sweetly loving my son.

Filed in: parenting • by Amy • 4 Comments

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Wife & Mama • Iced coffee seeker & curator of chaos • Collector of words & magic • Obsessed with laughter & bright lipstick • Dreaming & homesteading in the hills of PA

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