dreams…something i’ve always loved.

i was “that girl”.  the one that would spend hours pouring over catalogs, cutting out pictures of wedding dresses, baby cribs, bedding sets and kitchen cabinets.  those images would them be pasted into a scrapbook.  basically a scrapbook of dreams.

i was also the girl that would spend hours writing her name with his last name.  dreaming.  dreaming of when my name would change to his.

and then i met my husband.  my dreaming changed to our dreaming.  hours spent discussing the future, babies, decorating a house and holding our grandbabies.

even still, 17 years later, one of my favorite conversations begins with “remember when”.  i love to discuss those early dating and marriage years.  from the night he looked into my eyes and sang the most amazing song (which made me cry) to the times we would laugh, for hours, and have no idea why we were laughing.  from the first time i tried to make that awkward-super-scary jiffy pop popcorn on the stove (i swore it was going to explode) to the time i was pregnant with our first baby, and took a laughing fit that ended with me crying (he was just as confused as i was by that one).

throughout the years, we’ve never stopped dreaming together.  sometimes our dreams are about the future, and sometimes they are reminiscing about the past.  regardless of what we are dreaming about, our dreams are always together.  so many times couples keep dreaming, but they don’t dream together anymore.

recently, we went on a family vacation to the beach.  we were all enjoying some time jumping the waves and hanging out in the water.  my husband and i were spending a little time embarrassing our kids (aka…kissing) and i realized something.

in a few years, our littles will be leaving the house and heading to college.  so many times parents have lost who they were as a couple during the years they were parenting.  they spent so much time raising children, they stopped taking care of each other’s needs and grew into strangers. their children leave for college, they look at each other and realize they have no idea who this person is they are living with. actually, a staggering 1 in 6 divorces happen after children leave for college.

i realized during our vacation that when this happens, we’ll be fine.  we’ve put such an emphasis on staying connected, still dating each other, pursuing each others heart and still dreaming together.  i like to think of this as “feathering our empty nest”.  spending years preparing our nest, before it’s actually empty.  will there be tears when my littles leave?  of course, remember, i’m a crier!  and i will miss their faces, cooking them dinner and yes, doing their laundry.  

it is so important as a married couple to spend time discussing your goals, what you would like to accomplish in life, where you want to vacation together, what you want to see your littles do in the future and so much more. share the big things and the little things.  honestly share your heart with each other. dreaming together is so important to marriage, it’s a crucial part of your relationship. it not only keeps you on the same page but it helps you to feather your nest, preparing it for the future.

 

Remember when I was young and so were you

and time stood still and love was all we knew

You were the first, so was I

We made love and then you cried

Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows

and walked the walk

Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard

We lived and learned, life threw curves

There was joy, there was hurt

Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born

And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged

We came together, fell apart

And broke each other’s hearts

Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet

was the music

We danced to week to week

Brought back the love, we found trust

Vowed we’d never give it up

Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old

Now lookn’ back it’s just a steppin’ stone

To where we are,

Where we’ve been

Said we’d do it all again

Remember when

Remember when we said when we turned gray

When the children grow up and move away

We won’t be sad, we’ll be glad

For all the life we’ve had

And we’ll remember when

ignite the fire challenge…make a list with your husband about your future marriage dreams and talk about how you can work towards these dreams together. then spend time praying over this list together.

i think kindness could be boiled down to 3 little words…love in action.  when you are operating from a true heart of kindness, you will be extra careful how you treat your spouse.  you would never want to be unnecessarily harsh or hurt their feelings.  we need to be sensitive to their feelings and tender with our words.  even if you need to say hard things, we need to remember to speak the truth in love.

don’t wait to be kind to your husband. don’t only give him the parts that are left of you at the end of the day.

be his girlfriend!