Today is the wedding anniversary of two pretty amazing people in my life. A couple I’ve been absolutely blessed to call Mom and Dad. Fifty one years is a long time y’all, especially in this day and age. To honor their super special day, I’m re-posting a blog I did last year about their legacy of love.

Last week, as I was cleaning my new office space in my home, I came across a box. As I opened the lid and peeked inside, I saw it was filled with old pictures. Instantly my heart soared.

As I’ve said before, I am enamored with old photos. So much so that it sparked this insatiable craving to take pictures of people. To me, pictures are priceless treasures. I found a box full of moments, perfectly captured, allowing me to travel back in time.

I settled down on the floor, sitting indian style and pulling the box over in front of me. As I started rifling through the photos, I realized what I was actually looking at. A smile graced my lips. I was looking at love letters, in pictures, my parents had sent back and forth while they were dating. My dad was in the military and stationed across the country. So their only way of communication was through letters and pictures.

At first, I felt like I had barged into a secret diary. But I just couldn’t stop looking, reading and smiling. This is where the legacy of love began. The legacy that was passed to me and now on to my children.

And now the tears begin.

These pictures, so innocent and hopeful, with no idea of the future. Thinking about all of the highs, lows, and wonderful things they’ve experienced together over the years brought me to tears. They had no sense of the struggles they would eventually face. They had no idea they would someday have to hold each other through cancer, the death of loved ones and lost jobs. That one day they would travel to another state and adopt the sweetest baby girl ever. They had one thing…love.

Through that love, and devotion to each other, they sat such an amazing example of marriage and parenting for me. Every day, they wrote more of their legacy together. A legacy that will be remembered in lives long past their days on this earth. When we say words like legacy or inheritance, money or heirlooms usually come to mind. But the legacy I’m speaking of is different. It’s a legacy of priceless and intangible things. They’ve built a legacy of loving God, loving others before yourself and having a selfless heart.

I was given directly by God a family with two parents who are still married. I was given a family where both sets of grandparents were married until their dying day. A family that bonds closer together during tough times rather than throwing in the towel. At times, I wonder how I got so lucky…to be hand-picked by God and placed into this amazing family. Like a whisper in the wind I’m reminded that luck had nothing to do with it. This is part of my story, the one He wrote long before I was born.

They are incredible parents, living out a legacy of love passed down from both of their parents! They have never tried to be perfect, but they have tried to love me and others well and show us the best example of Christ that they could. They know how to fight when the enemy brings the battle close to home and they know how to praise when another battle is won. They are my legacy of love.

Friendship in marriage is truly a beautiful thing to share together. We all have that song in our hearts. The longing to be “best friends”. The melody takes us back to our best friends, the boys and girls we hung out with when we were little – innocent times, free times, fun times. These were when we shared our secrets and our dreams with our bestie. The Lord puts that song in our hearts when we’re married, the desire to be best friends with our spouse. It’s up to us to read the lyrics God wrote for friendship and learn how to apply it in our marriage.

Building friendship in marriage takes a lot of work and time. We have to realize that straight away and commit to it. If it’s something you truly want, the hard work and commitment won’t feel like a big deal at all. I think one important thing is choosing to spend time together rather than apart. Whether it’s taking a quick trip for ice cream or sitting beside him watching football, time together is precious.

So, are you still friends with your spouse? Do you love spending time together? Are you best friends?

Be gentle with one another. When Joe’s parents were sick, he spent a lot of time away from home and with them. It would have been super easy for me to let myself get irritated that he wasn’t here. Not only would that have been super selfish but it deffo would not have been what God wanted me to do. God wanted me to comfort Joe, hold him and lift him up in prayer. And that was a time in our marriage when we grew closer together.

Have fun together! One thing I can say about Joe and I is we can have fun {and laugh ridiculous amounts} doing anything! We need to make sure we do the fun together too! Fun is a key ingredient to a successful friendship. No one wants to spend time with a Debbie Downer. Laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more.

Listen. Friends enjoy talking to each other, but beyond just talking, their ultimate desire is to listen and implement the desires of their partner. Friends learn how their partner thinks by listening to what their partner has to say. Repeating what your partner said to make sure you understand is a great way to build listening skills. You would be surprised when you do this exercise how what men say and what we hear differs.

See what you still have in common. Chances are you will find out you still have quite a few things in common. Find out what the common interests are and explore them together. Joe and I love truck pulls, watching big brother and random road trips.

Put them first! Don’t just let your spouse be a best friend. Make them your most important friend! Your relationship with your spouse should come before any other relationship in your life, short of your relationship with the Lord.

Find out what makes your spouses heart happy. Find out what makes them smile and what their interests are and explore them together. It might be football, gardening, photography, art or hunting. This is one that takes sacrifice. When I was first married there wasn’t anything I hated more than sports on TV. It didn’t interest me a single bit. But, I have a husband who loves football (the Green Bay Packers to be specific) and a son who plays football sooooo there are lots of sports-ish things going on here. And ya know what, I love sitting beside my husband in the bleachers on a Friday night watching my son play football. I’m trying with everything I have to learn more about the game (this is the sacrifice part) so that I can participate in a convo with my husband while we are watching the game. Turns out my million questions like “what was that”, “why did they do that” and “what does that mean” is more of an irritation.

Make them feel good about themselves! Would you call someone who only makes you feel worthless and insecure your friend? Certainly not. Tell them about their best qualities. Celebrate their wins!

Remember forgiveness + grace. Even the best of friends have a bad day. Sometimes they say hurtful things or disappoint us. Offer the grace in those moments that you’d want in return. If you want a friendship that lasts, a marriage that endures, you must forgive both big & small.