marriage - Forever Beloved

June 3, 2016

Embarrass Your Littles

Children love seeing their parents get affectionate, whether they admit it or not. I’m sure they may not act like it and you might hear shouts of gross or yuck. But deep down they don’t hate it nearly as much as they let on. Normally, the shouts are said with a smile on their face.

I think it’s great for kids to see their Mom and Dad putting their relationship first. Most of the time, especially in today’s society, the opposite happens. Parents are making their kids a priority and at the end of the day, they just don’t have any time left for each other. The kids grow up and leave home and the parents are left looking at each other like strangers.

It’s so important that our kids can watch us giving our spouse love and respect. That they can see we are still pursuing our spouses heart. The byproduct is that our children can watch their parents dating. When children see their parents giving each other time, affection, and respect it is a reassurance of our love and makes them feel secure.

Our kids are watching us. They are learning to be comfortable with affection and to be affectionate with their own partner in the long run. They are learning from us what marriage looks like.

Don’t ever be afraid to kiss your husband in front of your littles, dance with him in the kitchen and hold his hand. Pursue his heart. Show them your romance. What an absolutely perfect place for them to learn about love!

Here is one of my fav stories…

A few years ago the kids and I went to visit my Grandma in the nursing home. We were there during lunch and sat in the dining room with her. There were many tables in the room with people scattered around them. One table in particular caught my attention. The entire table was empty except for an elderly man and woman, sitting right beside each other arm to arm. I thought it was totally cute and figured they were married. Grandma told me they weren’t married, they were just “dating”. My heart did a little sigh, oh how cute that was!

On the drive home, the kids and I were talking about that couple and how cute it is that they are “dating” when they are probably in their 80’s or older. And Jade made a statement that not only made me laugh but also made me stop and think that maybe, just maybe, her Dad and I ARE showing them what marriage should look like.

Jade said…When I’m old, I hope my husband still slaps my butt when I walk past him.

Now I’m not saying by any means that Joe and I are inappropriate BUT we are a very affectionate family. I love you is a daily statement in our household between all of us. Hugs and kisses are never, ever spared. And yes, there might be an occasional butt slap when I walk past him.

We are not only telling our kids what a happy, healthy marriage looks like, we are showing them! Go ahead, embarrass your littles. Show them your healthy marriage. Pursue your husbands heart and plant a big ole’ smooch on him today.

February 15, 2016

Before Saying I Do

It’s no secret, we rushed to get married. Um, hello…met in February, engaged in March and married in June. If that’s not rushing, I don’t know what is. But we didn’t get married for the reason most thought. We simply were ready for our happily ever after to begin. Oh, how naively we went into marriage.

Marriage is amazing and I love it, but it’s nothing like I thought it would be. Lately, I’ve been thinking of what I wish I had known before I got married. Things that would have made it easier to avoid some of our mistakes and to not fall into the traps couples so often do {us included}. Marriage introduces challenges that couples just simply aren’t prepared for.

Marriage is not about living happily ever after – If we were honest, we all crave a fairy-tale and a happy ending. I know I sure did. The problem isn’t wanting a fairy-tale romance but trying to compare your marriage and your spouse to those whirlwind romances in the movies. Open your heart up to Gods love first and He will show you how to truly love your husband without unreal expectations.

Marriage is not all about you – That’s a hard lesson to learn, isn’t it? Contrary to what the world tells you, it’s not about your happiness. It’s not about getting your needs met. It’s about going through life together and serving God and each other. It’s about committing yourselves to each other, even though you may be different people in the years to come.

The more you put into your marriage, the more you’ll get out of it – Marriage takes a lot of work and time, there is no doubt about that. Realize that straight away and commit to it. Go into marriage knowing your not going to have a 50/50 marriage, but a 100/100 marriage. Give your all because you love them, not because you expect something in return.

You can’t do it on your own – Marriage is difficult. That is obvious when you see how many couples end in divorce. It’s two imperfect people living together, failing daily. The only way to make your marriage truly work is to center it on Christ. God intended marriage to mirror His relationship with the church so that we could basically be a testimony to others and SHOW them what God is like. You have to rely on God for wisdom, power, love and strength for your marriage.

Make time for each other a priority – Make any time together into a mini-date. Whether it is running to the grocery store or a quick little ride on the 4-wheeler together. Snuggle in, hold hands and make that time together count.

February 12, 2016

40 Budget Friendly Date Ideas

I love going on dates with my husband, whether they are little mini-dates we catch here and there or a full day together. I love that feeling of just reconnecting with him and being able to give him my full attention without interruption. I think it’s so important to take time out of our busy lives to solely focus on each other. It keeps our marriage alive.

Romance doesn’t have to be expensive to be great! Here is a list of free or nearly free ideas to make your dating a pure pleasure:

Walk through the mall, holding hands of course.
Grab your skates and head to the roller-skating rink. What, not everyone has skates like I do? Believe me, my littles remind me every year that my skates are as old as dirt. As long as you don’t mind being the oldest people there who aren’t chaperoning their children, it’s a great way to have fun and let loose with each other.
Fill the bed of the truck up with pillows + blankets, head out in a field, hop in the back and count your lucky stars.
Celebrate the first snow fall with a day of sledding together. At the end of the day, head inside for hot cocoa and a hot shower.
Have a winter picnic. Put a blanket on the living room floor, turn the TV off, turn the music on and light candles.
Jump in the car and just drive with no destination in mind. Turn the music up, sing together, hold hands and enjoy the ride. Make a love song “mix tape” to enjoy during your drive. This one is one of my favs!
Wake your love up early. Have coffee, donuts and lead them outside to watch the sunrise together.
Grab your camera and head out. Stop at scenic locations and start taking pictures of each other. Be goofy and creative. Dare each other to put those wacky pictures on Facebook! The loser has to give a massage!
Karaoke is a guaranteed fun night, even if you can’t hold a note to save your life.
Go for a walk together in the woods.
Have a spa day by pampering each other with massages, candles and music.
Grab a tent, sleeping bag and head into the woods for a night of camping. Leave all the distractions behind. Spend the evening cuddling together under the stars talking for hours. If you don’t have a tent, you can get one for as cheap as $25 at Walmart. Sleeping bags can be as cheap as $10.
Re-enact one of your favorite dates from your “dating days”.
Go to a park, push one another in the swings and talk.
Dance lessons are fun and romantic. You’re moving, bodies are touching, and you might be working up a little bit of sultry sweat.
Have a photoshoot together.
Buy a pizza and play board games together.
Head to an indoor or outdoor ice-skating rink — it’s the perfect excuse to hold hands!
Go shooting together, something we love to do. I mean, hello, seeing your guy handle a gun is pretty hot. Just remember, safety first!
Celebrate your married romance by spending the day in bed together watching TV.
Spend a night sharing your favorite memories from the past. Stay in, turn off the TV, shut down your computer and ignore your phones. Just stay in the moment with each other.
Pray together, taking turns thanking God for each other.
Look through old photo albums together.
Go to the drive-in, pack snacks and a blanket and get cozy in the back seat.
Plan your dream vacation with each other — it might be the incentive you need to start putting your loose change in the piggy bank.
Have your children play waiter and waitress and serve a romantic dinner, then tell them the story of how you fell in love.
Volunteer together. I think watching my husband serve and seeing his heart is pretty amazing and makes me fall in love with him all over again.
Spend the day together in the great outdoors. Go for a hike together, enjoying a day of great conversation while getting exercise at the same time.
Build a snowman together.
On a hot summer day, wash the car together, with the intent of splashing each other with water.
Go play mini-golf.
Go bowling and have fun laughing together! If you’re like us, that laughing will come from you accidentally stepping on the slippy lane, falling and splitting your pants. Not my most graceful moment.
Write a love letter to each other, exchanging them after a candle light dinner.
Have a “remember when” night. Reminisce about your dating days, when you fell in love and recall some of your best memories.
Make a playlist {aka…mix tape} of your favorite slow songs. Cook your favorite meal together. Light the candles. Have a romantic dinner together! Once dinner is over, leave the dishes until the next day! Spend the rest of the evening slow dancing together!
Search out some local music!
Go House Shopping. Even if you aren’t in the market for a new house, just go browse anyway. There is just something fun about the home-browsing process.
Go for a moonlight walk. There is something very romantic about walking around at night, especially under the moonlight. Tell your spouse all the things you love about them and walk slowly.
Kiss, dance and play in the rain.
Head to a flea market or antique store. I could spend hours browsing through the aisles, dreaming of what I could fit a baby in {I’m a photographer y’all}. And thankfully, my husband enjoys these too!