i sat scrolling through my facebook feed, shaking my head in disbelief.  a local photographer did a boudoir/bikini shoot and posted all the images on their facebook page.  and they tagged the women in the pictures.  these women, mostly married, now have all their “business” out there for the world to see.  i couldn’t help but think “wow, we’ve so lost our ladylike”.

first, lets define what ladylike truly means.  it’s described as behaving or dressing in a way considered appropriate for or typical of a well-bred, decorous woman or girl.  the synonyms for ladylike are refined, cultured, sophisticated, elegant, proper, modest, respectable, polite, genteel, courtly, well-bred and decorous.

when i think of the word ladylike, my thoughts instantly go to my grandma strong.  my grandma was by no means a fancy lady, but she was class all the way. she was old school, from the days women were truly classy and ladylike. she wore a dress every day of her life. and even when she did wear pants, she wore them under a dress.  her and i had many discussions about clothing.  i remember one specific conversation, sitting around the table snapping green beans.  looking back now, it was something she truly wanted me to know.  she told me about modesty, hair, makeup and even the color of clothing to wear.  i honestly wish i had appreciated these conversations more.  but i was a teenager and the thought of limiting my clothing choices and excluding certain colors baffled me.

first, let me say i don’t see anything wrong with boudoir photography.  i’ve actually shot a few boudoir sessions myself.  and i’ve done a few boudoir sessions of myself for my husband.  God created men to be visual creatures, period.  so with boudoir you can make sure the visuals coming up in his head are of his beloved.  i think any man would be delighted that his wife would think enough of him to give him a gift that takes a lot of courage and love to do.    covering the body can be much more effective than revealing it.  clothing and poses can be modest, tasteful, elegant, cute and sexy.

these photographs can (and should) be such a sweet, beautiful gift from a wife to her husband, to be shared by only their eyes.  what should they not be?  shared on facebook.  shared with men other than your husband.  and for the love of all, they should not be set as your profile picture or cover photo.

oh sweet ladies, you can have confidence without showing your body to the world.  your body is a precious gift to your husband and to him only.  even if he doesn’t show it, you can be sure it hurts his  heart to know other men are gawking at his gift.  in the long run this will eventually just cause problems in your marriage.  it will spark feelings of jealousy and distrust.

remember, your littles are watching you.  i mean, really watching you.  i saw a quote today that just fits this perfectly!  your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.  do you want your children to see you dressed scantly online?  do you want them to hear other kids talking on the bus about seeing your “business” on facebook.  do you want your daughters to do the same thing?

you are so so precious to God and to your husband.  remember that, respect it and honor it.  how you treat your body, how you show it off, reflects your heart.  make sure your heart is reflecting the right thing.

out for now
~kisses

summer, oh summer.  when so many of us forget modesty (and bras). i admit, it’s tempting in the heat to let the shorts get shorter and the tank tops get lower.  but our morals and values shouldn’t change just because the seasons change.  on a quick side-note, bras are never an optional piece of clothing.  seriously ya’all, put. them. on.  

if you want to see exactly how much we’ve lost modesty, go to a beach. i understand beaches have no dress code and you can wear whatever you want there. why do such small bikinis show up on the beach? comfort? tanning? convenience? if we are going to be honest, it’s simply for attention.  it’s because of pride.  it’s to gain the attention of every man on the beach – the husbands, the teenage boys, the grandpas. then these same girls will complain when men look at them. it’s totally selfish behavior, causing distractions and encouraging lust in the hearts of men. all of this so the girls can feel beautiful, loved and wanted.

i think modesty is not just an important trait to instill in our daughters, but to also reflect ourselves. God gave us, as women, the gift of softness, femininity and beauty. it’s our responsibility to convey those without conveying our sexuality. allow your appearance to reflect your pure and virtuous heart. know your worth and reflect it on the outside. your body is a gift from God, honor it as such. i love this quote by jessica rey “Modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves, it’s about revealing our dignity”.   

we can absolutely dress beautifully without being out of fashion or immodest. the search might be a little harder but it’s not impossible. you will probably have to look past the racks they place at the front of the store. it’s not an impossible task.
  
i also love this article speaking to men and their role in the modesty issue. as a mama with a teenage son, and a husband for that matter, i know what a struggle this is for them. we all, men and women both, need to own our part in this issue.  it’s not just a girl issue or guy issue.  and as God’s children, we need to care for each other…with our outfit choices and looks.  remember, we can’t expect men to be gentlemen when we aren’t willing to be ladies.

you can be modest and cute this summer, ladies, i know you can!