Mental illness is one of those touchy subjects that is tough to tackle from a Christian perspective.  This post isn’t meant to paint the Church with a broad brush.  I don’t want to come off as saying every Christian in every church thinks this way.  That simply isn’t true.  Not all Christians stigmatize those with emotional problems.  We are so blessed and thankful to have a church-family that is understanding, caring, always willing to listen and learn more about mental illness!  Incorrect beliefs about mental illness are throughout our culture, Christian or not.

While researching for this post I found one very popular Pastor, and college professor, actually preached an entire sermon, and wrote a blog post, on this topic:

Anxiety is one of the evil conditions of the heart that comes from unbelief.

To say that left me stunned and shocked is an understatement.

I thought maybe it was a fluke.  Maybe, just maybe, it was only one Pastor who thought that.  Surely there can’t be more.

And then I came across another article by a different Pastor:

Mental illness is demonic possession

With that, my heart broke.

Have we not learned anything about mental illness in the church over the past decade?  Did Jarrid Wilson not teach us anything?  Being a Christian does not make you immune to depression, hopelessness and suicide.

If someone has a porn addiction, we are quick to point them in the direction of a support group.  For struggling marriages there are workshops and counseling services.  For money issues we’ll offer Dave Ramsey’s course.  Temptation, gossiping, pride — all on the “acceptable” list of problems the Church is willing to address.  These are issues people feel comfortable going to the church for.

But crippling anxiety, deep depression or suicidal thoughts?

For some reason these are often seen as spiritual in nature.  That they are either not truly trusting God, committed to prayer or understanding God’s great love for them.  And if they just had enough faith and trust in God it would go away.  As you see above from the Pastors sermon topic, some Christians not only believe that but preach about it.

I’m here to tell you that is simply not true.  That is like saying someone with cancer didn’t have enough faith BUT if they had greater faith and just prayed a little harder it would be healed.

The sad reality is that our judgmental reaction makes everything worse. With depression you already feel isolated and hopeless, and when our own church family alienates us or downplays what we’re going through, it accentuates the reach of darkness in our souls.  And when they feel they have no voice, it leaves them more susceptible to despair.  This will further stigmatize, shame, and isolate those who are struggling. It is stone throwing people who need understanding and a helping hand.

My beautiful daughter is a Christian and loves God with all her sweet little heart.

The truth is, Christians get mental illnesses at the same rate as everyone else.  This should not be a surprise to anyone.  After all, Christians catch colds as often as everyone else.  Christians get cancer or heart disease or high blood pressure at the same rate as everyone else.  No one thinks of these things as spiritual failings.

My daughter has an anxiety disorder.  Anxiety disorders are what happens to a person when the brain’s fire-alarm center—the amygdala—gets a “chemical burn” from bathing too long in stress chemicals, making it hypersensitive and over-reactive to new problems.  Anxiety Disorders are not a failure of character or spiritual maturity.  They are what happens when the brain’s stress-warning systems become overwhelmed and hyper-activated.

I also think as Christians we need to be very careful when we discourage the use of medications in treating mental health conditions.  We wouldn’t dismiss a diabetic who uses insulin or a cancer patient who uses chemo as someone who obviously doesn’t trust God enough.  In the same way, we shouldn’t look at those who take medication for a mental illness as somehow lacking in their faith.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in prayer!  And there is nothing wrong with praying for recovery from a mental health condition.  But encouraging someone to “pray away” a mental health condition could have serious ramifications.

Brandon Peach wrote:

Most churches probably have the very best intentions when dealing with issues of mental illness. Like the rest of society, however, the Church may misinterpret these clinical conditions and respond to them in ways that exacerbate them—and as a result, demoralize those suffering. Christ, the Great Physician, came to heal the sick. As His body, it’s time the Church leads society in helping to do the same.

If someone with a mental illness comes to you for help, please don’t diminish or downplay their feelings.  They already feel vulnerable and are trusting you.

Here is what you can do for them.  Pray for them and with them.  Love on them.  Encourage them to seek counseling, faith-based if possible.  Check in with them.  Let them know that we serve a God who knows brokenness.  A God who is well acquainted with pain.  And since He also knows everlasting life, He is with them even in the midst of a heart-thundering anxiety attack.  He is with them in the deafening silence of 3 a.m. depression.  His presence doesn’t mean we won’t suffer hard things.  Some of our struggles may never go away, but He is with us in the midst of them, keeping us, helping us.  Mental illness will tell them you can’t handle this.  But the truth is with God we are stronger than we think, because in our weakness He is the strongest!  Even though it might be uncomfortable that you can’t fix them with a meal or an errand or a Bible verse, you can show them the gospel by loving them through their darkest times.

As a Christian and as a mother of a beautiful daughter with a mental illness I think it’s time I raise my voice and say:

Therapy is not demonic.

Taking antidepressants is not a sin.

Seeing a psychiatrist is not anti-christian.

And those who suffer from mental health problems are not a failure.

God has called us to shed light on that which is dark instead of burying the darkness under our discomfort, misconceptions and lack of authenticity.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month.  We can all help prevent suicide. This lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.  Call 1-800-273-8255 or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

 

Kindness is so very powerful.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.  How would you describe kindness in your own words?  Friendly, generous, warm-hearted, soft-spoken; these are all words I would associate with being kind.

When I think of kindness, my Dad always comes to mind.  I actually would imagine his face might be in the dictionary beside it.  To him, kindness is a way of life.

Throughout my lifetime, my Dads kind gentle spirit has always been shown both inside and outside of our home.  He is one of the only people I know that can find good in any situation and in any person.  If he had heard someone say something unkind to him, his response was always the same.  They didn’t mean it that way.  If he would hear me saying something unkind, he would always remind me that we are Christians, and God doesn’t want us to be unkind.  If someone stole from him, he would brush it off by saying they must need it more than I do.

And today, especially today, as I watch my Facebook feed overflow with strong opinions on the John MacArthur and Beth Moore situation I can’t help but wonder what my Dad would say.

So I called him, explained the situation to him and asked his opinion.

His answer was “it’s never right to publicly humiliate someone who is also a Christ follower” followed quickly by “we should always be kind, we are called to be as Christians“.

And that, my friends, is the bottom line.

Tearing others down, judging harshly, judging their hearts, making rash and unkind judgments is all wrong.

How would Jesus have handled this?  When Jesus encountered people who He felt needed “called out”, first He showed them love.

The first thing He did was love on them.  He didn’t publicly humiliate them.  HE LOVED THEM!  Is it easier to hear criticism from someone if they loved on you first?  If they said it with kindness and you knew their heart was in the right place?  Absolutely!  It’s all about love, kindness and grace.  Gods greatest commandment was love one another (John 13:34).

Ephesians 4:32 says And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.  And be ye KIND one to another.

Kind.  Kind.  Kind.

Galatian 5:22-23 says But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 

Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit y’all.  Like the other fruits of the spirit, it can only be obtained through abiding in Christ.  It is an outgrowth of the genuineness of our faith.  According to the Zondervan NIV Bible Commentary, the Greek word translated kindness here is “the divine kindness out of which God acts toward humankind. It is what the [Old Testament] means when it declares that ‘God is good,’ as it so frequently does. Christians should show kindness by behaving toward others as God has behaved toward them.”

Kindness is humbly giving of ourselves in love and mercy to others who may not be able to give anything back, who sometimes don’t deserve it and who frequently don’t thank us for it.

At times kindness can be associated with weakness.  But let me tell you, it is anything but.  It requires extraordinary strength and courage to show kindness, especially to those who don’t deserve it. And let’s be clear: not a one of us “deserves” it all the time.  There are times when responding with kindness has felt like it almost killed this stubborn, hard-headed girl.  In those moments, I always think back to my Dad and how he would respond.

Kindness is being friendly, considerate, generous, warm-hearted and gentle.  It’s being friendly when the person across from you isn’t, it’s being warm when she’s cold, it’s being soft when the person across from you is hard, it’s giving when she has nothing to give in return, it’s running through the McDonald’s drive-thru to give that homeless person a warm meal and it’s holding your tongue sometimes.

There have been times when I’ve felt that gentle nudge on my heart to extend kindness to someone.  I’ve heard echos of you’re naive, you’re being taken advantage of and you’re too easy.  My response is always the same.  When I feel called to be kind to someone, how I answer that call matters.

As Christ followers, we are to love as He loved us.  And His love is always, always wrapped up tightly in kindness.  We see time and time again His love offered to undeserving people.  A wife who just disrespected her husband, a child who just sassed their parent, a husband who just laughed at an inappropriate joke…in other words, every single one of us.

Hosea 11:4 says I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love.  To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.

We need to learn to be gentle, sensitive and tenderhearted.  When we start being tenderhearted, it’s easy to be kind.  Having a heart that is easily touched and sensitive doesn’t mean your weak, although that’s what the world would say.  If we are sensitive to those around us, we start seeing their needs instead of our own.  Have a loving, tenderhearted, compassionate attitude and let it shine for everyone to see.

We are called to be kind to others because God is kind to us.  He loves us when we are unlovable, and He does this over and over again.  Kindness is extremely powerful.  You can change lives with your actions.  You can change lives by your words.  You can change lives with your kindness.  You can change lives by allowing Christ’s love to shine through you.  I’ve watched my Father do all of those things.

Don’t ever be afraid to show your kindness.  You might be the one voice in their life at the moment that they need to hear.  Your encouragement might be the one thing that keeps them going.

Maybe you are the one who will help them see Jesus through your kindness.

And remember, your words matter.