I woke up and rolled over to find my husband not there. Once I crawl out of bed and feel the temperature in the room, I instantly know where he is. Often times he is driven to the couch by a sweltering hot room {and a wife that likes to snuggle}. I head down the steps to double check and sure enough, there he is on the couch.
I took a slight detour before going back upstairs and I headed to the downstairs bathroom. The one where the scale lives. I sleepily turned the light on and pulled the scale out. As I stepped onto it, I whispered a tiny prayer, “Lord, I’ll accept whatever it says”. Nothing can make me fold in on myself quicker than an unkind scale. I’ve learned over the past year this tiny prayer, though only six words long, makes a huge difference in me. I glanced down and to my dismay, saw the same number I’ve seen time and time again. Stepping off, and slightly frustrated, I climbed the stairs and headed to the shower.
Now I have a confession to make, for some reason I adore speaking to the Lord while I’m in the shower. For me, it’s my quiet peaceful place where I hear His voice. Is that weird? If it is, please don’t tell me, because I sure do love my alone time with Him while I wash my hair and shave my legs.
As I began my shower, I also began my God talk time. “Lord, I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I’ve faithfully, for the past month, not had a single carb or bite of sugar. Why does my scale not move like others? Please Lord, I can’t do it on my own. Let me follow You”.
In that moment, His answer was so clear. Right now my answer is no. And in that same moment I knew I had to accept it.
I don’t know what His plan is for me, but I must be brave enough to follow it. I must have the strength to accept His no. I have to know that God hasn’t abandoned me, He is growing me. His no isn’t a punishment.
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