keepin’ it real around here…

ya’all know i try my best to keep it real here…

life isn’t always pretty and perfect. sometimes it’s messy and hard, really hard. my hopes in sharing my “realness” are that maybe my struggles will help or inspire someone else…

family is very VERY important to me and it always has been…

i come from a close knit family, my mom is basically my best friend and i couldn’t IMAGINE a day going by without me talking to her. i love having a close family, love having a big, extended family in PA and in NY…

family struggles are hard for me to understand.

but for the past four years we’ve had one. we had a family member say some not so nice things to joe and jade (she was only 6 at the time)…and they were told to “get out”…we have not seen nor spoken to that family member since that day.

when i get hurt i get angry…

i said “never EVER again will they have the chance to hurt us”. and from that moment on i’ve stuck to my guns. even though other family members tried to plead with us, i firmly stood my ground.

recently the Lord spoke to me loud and clear…

and He started working on my hardened heart. He told me to forgive that family member and LOVE them. (although i don’t doubt that i loved them. i think that is why i was soooooo hurt by the situation, because i loved and trusted them) and i thought “oohhh man, how would i ever do that? i mean, it’s me, amy, the girl that can hold a grudge forever.” then He put a few things right in front of my face to make his point clear…and suddenly my heart DID begin to soften.

an awakening…

i’ve realized through this process that anger, grudges and selfish pride are not the answer…love, patience and forgiveness are. i know now what we SHOULD have done 4 years ago. we made the wrong choice…i made the wrong choice…and now i’m truly sorry and embarrassed of it. i don’t know how this will turn out and i don’t know what the future holds for our relationship but i do know with the Lord guiding my decisions i can’t go wrong.

please pray for us and this situation. i know it hurts my children and my husband…and me.

out for now
~kisses